Bernice Forest Diary, 1916 - 1917

June 10th, 1917


Three weeks if many happenings have passed with out being recorded. I guess it is longer than that for there is no record of Prexy’s “No exam” announcement that came two weeks before school was out, not of the emergency classes that were supplemented in their places about food conservation, and economy. Neither is there an announcement here of Al going away two weeks before school was out. I missed him too and was glad when he came back for the commencement week-end last week. I didn’t know I did care particularly whether he came or went but I know I was glad to see him. But some how I know I don’t care like perhaps he expects me to. And still I don’t even know how much he expects me to care. Its like I told him – if I don’t look at him and just listen I think one thing, but when I look at his eyes, they are so indifferent and I don’t think they lie. I don’t think want to care for him – that’s just the size of it, for he isn’t my ideal or near it. He is a fine fellow, but we differ in so many thing. I have so many air castle and he is so matter of fact. I like church and S.S. League work while he is very indifferent to all of it. He goes to church and League but never takes part. I have always wanted a man who would say grace at the table but I don’t believe he ever would. And then he isn’t big, and I want to look up to the man I choose to live with. I don’t know why I’ve gone on at such a length but old journal – you’ve got to keep mum - I’ve never told anyone else these secrets so don’t you be the first.

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful week of vacation at home this last week. It was sun shiny all week till Friday and Mildred and I put on overalls and worked in the garden planting cucumbers and weeding garden, cutting weeds in the grass circle out in front of the house and various other stunts of similar nature.

John took us in to a show one night. Two nights Mildred and I had a good old sing singing all the old songs we ever knew perched out on the fence watching a perfectly wonderful moon.

Friday morning I had quite a thrilling experience of going for a horse back ride with “J. Lewis” (Johnson). The thrilling part of it was the bucking horse he had after inviting me to ride. No wild west show was more thrilling. The horse bucked until it threw itself then it got up and did it again. J. Lewis kept after it until it quit then he got my horse ready and after an hour of maneuvering which was the funniest to look upon for its slowness we finally went for the ride thru the timber and looking for wild strawberries. I think we found a dozen more berries and were gone over two hours.

Today John drove our Franklin (Mehitable) and brought Mother, Mildred, Tillie, and I up to Corvallis where I am now on my first plans for summer school. I’m going to wait on tables for my board. I don’t know where the rest is to come from.

I took mother up to meet Mrs. Stutz today and left her I nthe car while I went in to see if Mrs. Stutz was at home. The minute I got my eyes on Lester I know something was wrong and when I saw Mrs. Stutz I was positive. She threw herself into my arms and told me her story, sobbing. Mr. Stutz shot himself yesterday morning. He used an old gopher gun he had in the barn. She says his health and mind failed him at once and he grew despondent and this is the result. It was such a shock I just couldn’t get over it. The funeral is to be Wednesday morning. I’m going to try to go. I feel so sorry for the family.


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