Febuary 18th, 1917
The class party at the church went of fine altho we didn’t have time to do all we had planned. Everyone who says any thing about it, says they never had a better time. I’m glad it is over for there are so many things coming up that I can’t keep track of them. At Cabinet meeting last Tuesday night we had ten dates ahead to plan for – either Stuart Shaw, Miss Hopkins, or Conferences and the like. It is just one grand rush – and still I like it. I know I’d be at a loss to know what to do with myself if I didn’t have it to keep me busy. Also the League is planning for a contest for the next three weeks – boys against the girls which will lead us right up into the Raymond Robbins meetings. That comes Mar. 15 to 18 and we are supposed to work up plans for those meetings so everyone will want to hear him.
Lately I feel so tired I don’t keep even a respectable “front” up at all. I’ve got to reconstruct some where in order to get back on the old free footing with everyone and every body and get a smile where it ought to be. This proctor business is making me so critical that I’m hard to live with – even with myself. Last night I shut my transom and ran the risk of bad ventilation rather than have to keep listening to all the noise in the hall – and run out and proctor them, I wish I could ditch the job and still I’m ashamed to say it is too much for me. If I can’t control myself in a little job like this – and make the girls like me, I wont be much of a success as a teacher. That is the only thing that makes me stick. Otherwise I’d tell Mrs. Haight I had quit – and she could ___ a new head proctor.
Harriet sent me a dandy box of cakes and “kisses” for a Valentine present. She is so thoughtful that I wish I could do more for her. She gets so restless down there with no plan for the future and feeling all the time that she is a burden on papa – altho he of course doesn’t look on it that way.
Al took me to church tonight – also brought me home from the party the other night. How I wish it had been some one I really liked.