Understory 2021

Outcast

I am an outcast
I wonder if my parents are getting a divorce
I hear they might 
I see the change between them
I want them to stay together 
I am an outcast

I pretend that nothing is going on
I feel sad, worried, and depressed
I touch and give myself a hug
I cry at night asking myself what's going to happen next 
I am an outcast

I understand that not everything will always go my way
I say it's only just for now
I dream to live and live the wonderful life
I try to do my best on everything, but not everything goes right
I hope things change
I am an outcast 

I hate living in this nightmare 
I wish I could change how they felt about each other
I can’t control everything, I can only control myself 
I would be better off anywhere but here or somewhere else 
I want to learn how to cope with this 
I am an outcast 

I am thankful I’m no longer sad, worried, or depressed 
I wonder how my Dad is doing and if he’s at his best
I hear he has his screw ups every now and then
Its seems like I haven’t seen him since way back when 
I am grateful he’s now gone and our lives aren’t such a mess
I am an outcast

I pretend to see what things were like again back then 
I feel that our lives are much better now than then 
I touch and give myself another hug
I am appreciative of my mom and grandma for everything they have done
I am an outcast 

I understand I need to move on from the past 
I say every day I wish him nothing but the best 
I dream that one day he’ll come back and be better
I try to stay more positive than ever 
I hope my life changes and gets better 
I am an outcast  

I am now 19 and living at my best 
I hope to move to Hawaii to continue the rest 
I will become something great in the medical field 
I can feel deep down inside my heart that its real
I am no longer an outcast 

I, for now, will finish off here 
I will finish up my first college year
I will be a CNA and EMT after this is all done 

I’m grateful for all my accomplishments and everything I’ve done 
Without further ado, I’m happy to say 
I am no longer an outcast, hip- hip- hooray! 

                                                                  
SHAWN SANDERS is a freshman planning on pursuing a Associates of Applied Science in Medical Assisting. After he is done with his degree, he later hopes to move to Hawaii to further his education. 

This page has paths: