Runaway Boy
Therapeutic.
One of the few homes I had left.
In your arms I felt safe.
From the world.
From myself.
Throughout the week the thought of seeing you kept me going.
Gave me a reason to stay.
To fight.
Knowing you would hug me tight.
Call me beautiful.
Kiss me
Gently.
Slowly.
The way you made me laugh was...
Restorative.
One of the only times I felt happy.
Seeing your smile
Your eyes
It was almost as calming as the starry night we watched in Hawaii
Feeling your touch when you made a move on me
It was...
Wonderful.
Truly full of wonder.
Now
I’m only full of memories
Memories that cut my soul one at a time
Like an outside soul sword
But I’m the only victim.
The only perpetrator.
There are so many it’s hard to keep count.
My soul is so broken I might not get it back.
The warmth of your body is...
Damaging.
One more broken home I can’t come back to.
The safety of your arms is gone.
Now I’m in constant danger.
These days the thought of seeing you is...
Dreadful.
For I don’t know what is worse,
Having you close knowing you’re done with me,
Or not having you at all.
Once restorative your hugs are now...
Agonizing.
Wanting to hold tighter.
To push you as hard as I can.
The way you make me laugh tears me apart.
I don’t want you to comfort me,
But there’s no one that does it like you.
Seeing your smile.
Your eyes.
Knowing they’re not for me.
Knowing you’re not mine.
Like pouring salt on the wound.
Someone once told me that when dating, your should always look for someone to love you, not
for someone to love,
Because whoever loves loses.
Bringer of joy you have sucked the life out of me.
To think that you once illuminated my days.
And now,
You have taken a shot and abandoned me to bleed out on the road.
I lost.
Big time.
How tragic.
I guess that’s why I hate that I can’t help but...
Love you.
I hope,
I truly hope you the best.
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ISABEL G. AZPILCUETA BALSIMELLI is a junior pursuing a Baccalaureate degree in Chemistry with a minor in Psychology. Born and raised in Mexico, Isabel has been writing since she was in 2nd grade and has continued to develop her skills. Despite being a science major, Isabel’s true passion lies in the arts and she hopes to continue pursuing them after graduation.