The Bestselling Novel: Currents in American History and Culture

The friend Lily never had

Nettie Struther, the working woman Lily remembers in her final chapters of life, is an example of the ways Lily’s perception has changed over time. In the past, Nettie Struther had been a victim of overwork and anemic parentage which surely places her in the “social refuse-heap” (p.313).  Nettie Struther’s life story is the reverse of Lily Bart’s, where Nettie lives and moves up the social ladder whereas Lily is swept into the mass of the "refuse-heap."

As Nettie repeatedly admits, Lily did her a favor and saved her. Lily was a "friend". Whereas Lily admits to Selden that 

"You don't know how much [she] need[s] such a friend, [...] the other women- [her] best friends- well, they use [her] or abuse [her]; but they don't care a straw what happens to [her]" (Wharton 9)


Yet, Lily was the savior to Nettie that she never had for herself. The women Lily calls "best friends" seems ironic because "friends" in Lily's life barely hold any meaning. The women Lily called "friends" use her and eventually contribute to Lily's doomed end. This quote not only signifies the importance of friendships, but also reflects the ways in which women may be forces in bringing each other down. Knowing "nobody cares" and yet calling them friends may be a subtle implication that "friends" and a little care may, after all, be what Lily craves for. The care Lily shows to Nettie at Nettie's breaking point is what Lily in turn needed in her life. The interaction with Nettie and her baby is what Lily remembers in her final moments; thus, a friendly gesture of care might really have saved Lily from her doom. 

Why are female friends important? Because bringing another woman down for not conforming to society is bringing yourself down. You not only acknowledge your "enslavement" to society but also promote it. However, this does mean that criticism is not allowed; rather, it means celebrate Each and Every woman, rather than just "women." Nettie Struther is an encouragement to this society of "doomed" women, as she saves Lily not only by physically helping her but also appreciating Lily's efforts of help when Nettie most needed it. As Roberta Annan says, it is all we need because We are in this together. 


Wharton, Edith. The House of Mirth. Penguin Classics, 1986.
 

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