Mother Knows Best
Mother knows best, does she not...?
The idea of a mother being her daughter's care-taker, mentor, and best friend is heavily emphasized to this day.
A daughter is often assigned the duty of being filial towards her mother as well as fulfilling her expectations; thus, young girls are often ideally perceived by most as the mirror of their mothers.
These ideas are not only heavily emphasized in the past but are very prevalent in the present as well.
However, while these are all very sweet sentiments, it is difficult to deny the fact that these expectations are indeed quite unrealistic, as not every child is able to fulfill or achieve what their parents want from them.
Susanna Rowson does not fail to exhibit the importance of filial duty as well through Charlotte's mother, Lucy Temple, where a significant part of Charlotte Temple is centered on how Charlotte's father, Mr. Temple met and fell in love with her mother, Lucy Elridge. Through Rowson's telling of the story, we find out that Lucy happens to be the "ideal" representation of a resilient, kind and humble woman - everything people wanted from an 18th century woman.
“"She is the only child we have," said Mrs. Temple, the whole tenderness of a mother adding animation to her fine countenance; but it was withal tempered so sweetly with the meek affection and submissive duty of the wife, that as she paused expecting her husband's answer” (26).
It is apparent from the way Mrs. Temple coddles and spoils Charlotte that she does not regard her as old enough to do anything by herself. In fact, it is for this reason that Charlotte is enrolled in an all-girls boarding school, away from men and possibly any other negative influence.
In fact, studies indeed show that parents who exert too much control in their children's lives may cause great psychological impacts that make them feel less secure and happy. Dr. Mai Stafford of the Medical Research Council’s (MRC) Lifelong Health and Ageing unit at UCL states that "psychological control can limit a child’s independence and leave them less able to regulate their own behaviour" (9).
She provides unwillingness to let children make their own decisions as one example of a controlling parent, which Mrs. Temple and her husband seemed to have done to Charlotte. Not only does this undermine her, but reduces her to a completely dependent person who is incapable of doing anything on her own, and will inevitabily fall victim to the wrong kind of advice.
Rowson, however, antagonizes the child who does not fulfill the filial duty, thus blaming Charlotte's doom on the fact that she strayed away from the path her parents set for her. She directly addresses the reader, as if trying to guilt trip them into avoiding the same mistakes Charlotte made.
"Then once more read over the sorrows of poor Mrs. Temple, and remember, the mother whom you so dearly love and venerate will feel the same, when you, forgetful of the respect due to your maker and yourself, forsake the paths of virtue for those of vice and folly" (40).
On the other hand, an essay by Judith Sargent Murray understands how most parents value their children, and will always over-exaggerate when it comes to their safety, where they will “assiduously guard every avenue” and “arrest the stream of due admiration” (110).
Yet, once again, this inevitably makes it hard for the daughter to resist rebellion when it knocks on her door, and this overprotectiveness and the way society and its nurturers set up women as "weak" and unable to fend for themselves will always result in their demise.
And so, despite the fact that Lucy initially thought that she would be able to protect Charlotte, she unfortunately does the opposite, and sets her up for her doom.
The moral of the story? Maybe mother doesn't know best after all.
Mai, Stafford. "Parent-child relationships and offspring’s positive mental wellbeing from adolescence to early older age". 2016. Journal of Positive Psychology, 11(3), 326-337. DOI: 10.1080/17439760.2015.1081971.
Rowson, Susanna. Charlotte Temple. 1794. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2011.
Sargent, Judith Murray "Desultory Thoughts upon the Utility of Encouraging a Degree of Self Complacency, Especially in Female Bosom" in Charlotte Temple. 1794. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2011.
