Like a sad day, I often feel blue.

When the bad outweighs the good, I find that the rain follows me.

I always assumed that one day,

a painting of myself

full of unbroken lines and cloudless color

would appear inside of my head.

Today,

The image is being ruined by the rain.

If it’s bright outside,

It seems like the sun is mocking me.

There are no sweet whispers in my head that tell me

this is it.

this is you.

No more stumbling around in a dark room

grasping at smoke in hopes of

catching a glimpse of happiness.

Today,

the sun is telling me,

you are an empty canvas.

Still searching for signs,

a pencil outline,

half-erased.

If I know it will be stormy,

I feel attacked.

searching for signs

of who I’m supposed to be

in the reflections of street puddles

and fractured mirrors.

If the sky is gentle,

I feel ignored.

How could there be peace

When my heart feels so

tumultuous.

Sometimes, I think,

I might expect too much

Of the world.

It is hard for me to remember that

it is a gift to have rain,

the sun creates life,

Gentle skies can be a reminder

to breathe,

and although sad days and I can feel rather blue,

I hope there is good in the world that can

outweigh that too.

                                                                  
LILLY E. REEVES is a junior pursuing a degree in English. Lilly passionately seeks authenticity in her lived experiences from travel to cats, cooking to reading, long conversations to simply “being.”