Understory 2023

Aegoromantic by DEVIN P. HIGGINS

Picture a dance below a full moon:
Masks and jewels and mystery
Abound amidst a fitting tune.

The mistress arrives, fittingly late,
Her smile unseen by all but one
‘Tween light and dark they patiently wait.

Their eyes lock, and silence crackles
Bending the world around their scene
Two hearts stutter, together in shackles.

A whisper of touch is their greeting;
A silent promise to dance is made.
An intimate lock of eyes is fleeting.

The night wears on, the music slows
The chest of the mistress tightens
To them, she wants their distance to close.

Under the cool and starry night sky,
They dance; hearts beat together as one,
Dreading the hour they’ll say good-bye.

I close the book with a sigh.

My heart stutters just as theirs do
It pangs and aches and suffers for want
But any romance I have will be new.

There’s scholars and soldiers that pass me by.
I watch each one and wait for the moment
When our eyes meet and sparks will fly.

I bide my time in worlds between pages,
In fantasies I only strive to know.
I’ll be without this love for ages.

One sunny day, I turn to find
A young lady waiting, flowers in hand
Flushing, she hopes not to be declined.

I wait for her ‘tween light and dark
She comes, and through tightened smiles,
I wait and wait to feel that spark.

We take a walk ‘neath the full moon
She meets me, and I meet her.
Hopefully I’ll feel something soon.

She’s perfect, amazing—all I hoped for.
But as the night wears on and ends,
Still I waited for something more.

I do it again, and again after that,
One week of dating turns into many.
Why don’t I know where my feelings are at?

One lovely night, she gives me a smile,
A gift, with those three fateful words.
My stomach only churns with bile.

Her heart breaks, and so does mine
For so long I have led her on
While I had waited for a sign

That I would feel something…
Anything…
For her, my dear friend.

                                                                  

DEVIN P. HIGGINS is a third-year Mechanical Engineering major with a Computer Science minor. They are a longtime fiction writer and the current president of UAA's Creative Writing Club. Along with writing, they also have a passion for math and games of every kind.

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