A Mother's Fantasy
Alexandra Ellis
Characters:
LISA: Age 29, blue sweats, gray hoodie, hair pulled tightly up in a bun, and looks tired.
BETH: Age 29, gray blouse, leggings, hair curled and pulled tightly into a “soccer mom” ponytail. She has her baby in her arms.
The scene opens in Lisa’s living room. Lisa is sitting on a messy black suede couch, baby clothes are strewn about all over the couch and some are just visible tucked between the cushions. She is waiting on her friend, Beth, who is coming over to visit her. She sits nervously playing with a stained baby blanket. Lisa’s living room faces the entryway. The room is cozy and crowded, with two couches and baby-toys scattered about the room.
Doorbell rings, and Lisa gets up, making her way through the maze of toys on the ground. She opens the door and greets Beth. They hug awkwardly because her Beth has a baby in one arm.
BETH: Oh my god, how are you?
LISA: Hey, it’s good to see you.
BETH: I haven’t seen you in forever! I like, can’t believe it’s been so long. I mean, you were pregnant and I was pregnant, now we both have babies, like, wow!
LISA: I know it’s been too long. It really has. Come in, the baby must be getting cold.
BETH: Oh yeah, almost forgot about Baby Gabby. But, she’s such an Alaskan girl! You wouldn’t believe her tolerance of the cold. Even though, honest to god, she is just so little! She’s six months old, but she is still a little peanut this one.
BETH steps in the house and they walk to couches and sit across from each other. BETH still cradles Baby Gabby to her chest
LISA: So, I thought Brett was going watch Gabby. Not that I mind, I just thought it was going to be us without the kid.
BETH: Yeah, but you know how things are. [She starts to baby-talk to Gabby] “Daddy gets busy, yes he does” [She laughs to herself and starts to talk to LISA again] Brett had to go to Costco. We’re out of diapers and it was just too much trouble to remove the car seat. We just got a new, safer car. You know how it is, being a new mom and having a new little family can be so much work!
LISA: Yeah, I know what you mean [She laughs half-heartedly]. So things between you and Brett have been good?
BETH: As good as things can be after having a baby. We definitely don’t get to spend as much quality time together, you know, like we used to. But we make it work, I think mostly we are both just tired! Gabby can be a bit colicky. But Brett and I take shifts at night, it really helps. We don’t believe in the whole ‘ignoring them while they cry’ thing.
LISA: Yeah, that’s so tough to do.
BETH: Yeah, I just want Gabby to know I love her, you know? Even if she is a crying little poop. [Beth looks down at Gabby in adoration]
LISA: Yeah.
BETH: Well, what about you? I feel like we’ve only been talking about me, which as you know from college I definitely don’t mind. What about you, girl? How’s baby Emma and Charles? How are you guys adjusting to the whole new-baby thing?
LISA: [Looks down at her hands and then back to BETH listlessly]. Do you want something to drink? I just made coffee. Would you like some? [LISA gets up and goes to get BETH a cup of coffee before she has time to answer. When she enters the room, she sits back down and hands the mug of coffee to LISA.)
BETH: Oh, thank you Lisa, it smells so good.
LISA: Yeah, Charles gets these fancy beans from the Starbucks down the street, Peruvian blend I think.
BETH takes a sip of her coffee.
LISA: Do you ever miss it?
BETH: Miss what [Looks up from Gabby]?
LISA: You know, being single, being wild, like we were in college. Always a new man, new place, new scenery
BETH: No. I … I don’t know what you are talking about. Is something wrong with Charles?
LISA: No, no, no . . . Charles is great.
BETH: Well, what is the problem?
LISA: I guess…I just miss…. Oh never mind I don’t think you’ll understand really, you seem so happy, you, Gabby, and Brent are all one big happy family.
BETH: Do you mean that You, Emma, and Charles aren’t?
LISA: Really Beth it was just an observation
BETH: I guess sometimes … I do look back at our years in college, but I don’t know If I would say that I . . . miss it. I love my life … I love Brett and things are good. I always wanted to be a mom and now I am…!
LISA: Can I ask you a question?
BETH: Always.
LISA: Do you miss the freedom you had before you had Gabby?
BETH: No, I really like how things are now. I’m actually the happiest I’ve ever been in a long time. Things overall are so good. Bret and I are even talking about moving into a bigger house and having another baby here soon.
LISA: Another one?
BETH: Have you read the studies about single child syndrome?
LISA: But so soon?
BETH: Yeah, why not? If we have another girl it’ll be like they are twins, so close in age and all, and if we have a boy, they’ll be able to protect each other.
LISA: Oh wow, it sounds like you guys have been really thinking about this.
BETH: Yeah, we have. We have even thought of names for our next one.
LISA: Oh my [sighs].
BETH: Yeah, Brett really wants a boy, so we can name it after his grandfather, Maurice. He wants to pass on his family name. I kind of hope to have a boy. It’d be nice to have one of each.
LISA: Is ‘Maurice’ French?
BETH: I think so.
LISA: God, I miss France.
BETH: Oh really? I didn’t even know that you went.
LISA: Yeah, just before I got pregnant, I went to France on expose for a string of murders. The travel photographer and I spent the whole week following around the French police in their investigation. It ended up being a lady in France killing off babies because she couldn’t have any.
BETH: Oh god, how awful!
LISA: Yeah it was, but, my point was that I miss France a lot.
BETH: What do you mean? I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, Lisa, but you know everything is just between you and me. I mean, like how long have we been friends?
LISA: Years.
BETH: Years.
LISA: Okay, I’ll tell you but you can’t tell Charles, or anyone for that matter.
BETH: Seriously, who would I tell?
LISA: I don’t know, Brett?
BETH: I won’t tell Brett if you really don’t want me to.
LISA: Please?
BETH: Okay, just tell me! I’m dying to know!
LISA: It really isn’t that interesting.
BETH: Just tell me anyway?
LISA: No, I meant, I’m just not that interested.
BETH: What do you mean?
LISA: I’m bored out my mind Beth.
BETH: What? I don’t understand. With Charles?
LISA: He’s never home, and I’m stuck at home all day with Emma. I clean, I eat, I watch TV and take care of her. She cries, and I attend to her. Then he comes home, and I attend to him. I make him dinner, I clean the dishes, smile, and pretend like I’m content. I just never imagined this type of life for myself.
BETH: Oh, well, you know I am just a phone call away.
LISA: I just . . . [Trails off mid-sentence and looks at the wall wistfully].
BETH: Yes?
LISA: I just have this fantasy.
BETH: What fantasy?
LISA: It started out when I was home alone one day. Charles wasn’t there, Emma was asleep, and I thought of France and doing work for National Geographic again. I wondered if they would take me back.
BETH: That’s only natural, Lisa, you worked for them for the last three years [Nods and tries to console LISA by putting a hand on LISA’S knee].
LISA: Yeah, it was my lucky break. Charles and I really did want to have a kid though. Charles is perfect [Stands up and faces the kitchen, turning her back to BETH]. He is so funny, smart, kind, and he always makes sure I am taken care of, so I had a kid.
BETH: I don’t see the problem, what’s this fantasy? You aren’t thinking about leaving, are you?
LISA: I was, but that would leave Emma without a mother. I couldn’t do that to her.
BETH: What’ this fantasy then?
LISA: Well, I don’t know if you could even call it a fantasy. Maybe more of a thought, or an experience I sometimes have.
BETH: Okay?
LISA: It is like, when I wash dishes I look out the window, when Charles is gone, and Emma is asleep. I imagine what it would been like not to have her. I wonder what it would be like not to be a mother anymore, to not to be married anymore, to not have settled in this house.
BETH: You what? [Starts to fidget in her seat].
LISA: It’s like I can feel it. I can feel this substance in the air, like everything is happening at once, and I get so tired. I see what things could have been like. I hear the sounds of cars rushing and I can imagine myself in them, roaming the streets of Rome again, or Milan, or Venice. I can taste the gelato. Cool, calming, soft French vanilla on my tongue. I can witness the men in tight jeans chasing after the young Italian women in skirts. The thought makes me smile and I can also imagine spending my mornings on the beach watching the sunrise over that clear Italian water without the loud screams of that baby.
BETH: ‘That baby’? [Stands up to try to look at LISA in the face].
LISA: It’s just a fantasy. But sometimes it feels very real, like I never had her, like I’d never married Charles, like I’m still working. Like, I’m still in Paris waiting for my next story, my next flight. Then I’m here, realizing that I can never have that again, and I get so angry. The other day I broke a dish [Throws her fists up in exasperation and turns around to face BETH, smiling].
BETH: I’m worried about you. [Steps back towards the door, cradling her Gabby to her chest].
LISA: Oh, Beth, don’t be.
BETH: Where’s Emma?
LISA: What do you mean?
BETH: Where is Emma? Is Charles here? Where is your daughter, Lisa?
LISA: It’s just a fantasy, Beth! You don’t have to worry [Turns around again but this time stares at the stairs and starts humming “Rock-A-Bye Baby”].
BETH: [Voice rising] Where is she?!
LISA: [Continues to hum]
BETH: Where is your baby?!
LISA: [Stops humming and turns to BETH] She’s just sleeping, calm down; you’ll wake her up.
BETH: I don’t believe you!
LISA: Go check on her yourself then, she’s upstairs, I promise you.
BETH: Oh my god! No . . . [whispering] you didn’t!
LISA: Like I said, it was just a fantasy.
BETH exits. There is a sound of running up upstairs. When she is out of sight LISA stands up, puts on a pair of slippers, and slips out the door, humming to herself again.
CURTAIN
LISA: Age 29, blue sweats, gray hoodie, hair pulled tightly up in a bun, and looks tired.
BETH: Age 29, gray blouse, leggings, hair curled and pulled tightly into a “soccer mom” ponytail. She has her baby in her arms.
The scene opens in Lisa’s living room. Lisa is sitting on a messy black suede couch, baby clothes are strewn about all over the couch and some are just visible tucked between the cushions. She is waiting on her friend, Beth, who is coming over to visit her. She sits nervously playing with a stained baby blanket. Lisa’s living room faces the entryway. The room is cozy and crowded, with two couches and baby-toys scattered about the room.
Doorbell rings, and Lisa gets up, making her way through the maze of toys on the ground. She opens the door and greets Beth. They hug awkwardly because her Beth has a baby in one arm.
BETH: Oh my god, how are you?
LISA: Hey, it’s good to see you.
BETH: I haven’t seen you in forever! I like, can’t believe it’s been so long. I mean, you were pregnant and I was pregnant, now we both have babies, like, wow!
LISA: I know it’s been too long. It really has. Come in, the baby must be getting cold.
BETH: Oh yeah, almost forgot about Baby Gabby. But, she’s such an Alaskan girl! You wouldn’t believe her tolerance of the cold. Even though, honest to god, she is just so little! She’s six months old, but she is still a little peanut this one.
BETH steps in the house and they walk to couches and sit across from each other. BETH still cradles Baby Gabby to her chest
LISA: So, I thought Brett was going watch Gabby. Not that I mind, I just thought it was going to be us without the kid.
BETH: Yeah, but you know how things are. [She starts to baby-talk to Gabby] “Daddy gets busy, yes he does” [She laughs to herself and starts to talk to LISA again] Brett had to go to Costco. We’re out of diapers and it was just too much trouble to remove the car seat. We just got a new, safer car. You know how it is, being a new mom and having a new little family can be so much work!
LISA: Yeah, I know what you mean [She laughs half-heartedly]. So things between you and Brett have been good?
BETH: As good as things can be after having a baby. We definitely don’t get to spend as much quality time together, you know, like we used to. But we make it work, I think mostly we are both just tired! Gabby can be a bit colicky. But Brett and I take shifts at night, it really helps. We don’t believe in the whole ‘ignoring them while they cry’ thing.
LISA: Yeah, that’s so tough to do.
BETH: Yeah, I just want Gabby to know I love her, you know? Even if she is a crying little poop. [Beth looks down at Gabby in adoration]
LISA: Yeah.
BETH: Well, what about you? I feel like we’ve only been talking about me, which as you know from college I definitely don’t mind. What about you, girl? How’s baby Emma and Charles? How are you guys adjusting to the whole new-baby thing?
LISA: [Looks down at her hands and then back to BETH listlessly]. Do you want something to drink? I just made coffee. Would you like some? [LISA gets up and goes to get BETH a cup of coffee before she has time to answer. When she enters the room, she sits back down and hands the mug of coffee to LISA.)
BETH: Oh, thank you Lisa, it smells so good.
LISA: Yeah, Charles gets these fancy beans from the Starbucks down the street, Peruvian blend I think.
BETH takes a sip of her coffee.
LISA: Do you ever miss it?
BETH: Miss what [Looks up from Gabby]?
LISA: You know, being single, being wild, like we were in college. Always a new man, new place, new scenery
BETH: No. I … I don’t know what you are talking about. Is something wrong with Charles?
LISA: No, no, no . . . Charles is great.
BETH: Well, what is the problem?
LISA: I guess…I just miss…. Oh never mind I don’t think you’ll understand really, you seem so happy, you, Gabby, and Brent are all one big happy family.
BETH: Do you mean that You, Emma, and Charles aren’t?
LISA: Really Beth it was just an observation
BETH: I guess sometimes … I do look back at our years in college, but I don’t know If I would say that I . . . miss it. I love my life … I love Brett and things are good. I always wanted to be a mom and now I am…!
LISA: Can I ask you a question?
BETH: Always.
LISA: Do you miss the freedom you had before you had Gabby?
BETH: No, I really like how things are now. I’m actually the happiest I’ve ever been in a long time. Things overall are so good. Bret and I are even talking about moving into a bigger house and having another baby here soon.
LISA: Another one?
BETH: Have you read the studies about single child syndrome?
LISA: But so soon?
BETH: Yeah, why not? If we have another girl it’ll be like they are twins, so close in age and all, and if we have a boy, they’ll be able to protect each other.
LISA: Oh wow, it sounds like you guys have been really thinking about this.
BETH: Yeah, we have. We have even thought of names for our next one.
LISA: Oh my [sighs].
BETH: Yeah, Brett really wants a boy, so we can name it after his grandfather, Maurice. He wants to pass on his family name. I kind of hope to have a boy. It’d be nice to have one of each.
LISA: Is ‘Maurice’ French?
BETH: I think so.
LISA: God, I miss France.
BETH: Oh really? I didn’t even know that you went.
LISA: Yeah, just before I got pregnant, I went to France on expose for a string of murders. The travel photographer and I spent the whole week following around the French police in their investigation. It ended up being a lady in France killing off babies because she couldn’t have any.
BETH: Oh god, how awful!
LISA: Yeah it was, but, my point was that I miss France a lot.
BETH: What do you mean? I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, Lisa, but you know everything is just between you and me. I mean, like how long have we been friends?
LISA: Years.
BETH: Years.
LISA: Okay, I’ll tell you but you can’t tell Charles, or anyone for that matter.
BETH: Seriously, who would I tell?
LISA: I don’t know, Brett?
BETH: I won’t tell Brett if you really don’t want me to.
LISA: Please?
BETH: Okay, just tell me! I’m dying to know!
LISA: It really isn’t that interesting.
BETH: Just tell me anyway?
LISA: No, I meant, I’m just not that interested.
BETH: What do you mean?
LISA: I’m bored out my mind Beth.
BETH: What? I don’t understand. With Charles?
LISA: He’s never home, and I’m stuck at home all day with Emma. I clean, I eat, I watch TV and take care of her. She cries, and I attend to her. Then he comes home, and I attend to him. I make him dinner, I clean the dishes, smile, and pretend like I’m content. I just never imagined this type of life for myself.
BETH: Oh, well, you know I am just a phone call away.
LISA: I just . . . [Trails off mid-sentence and looks at the wall wistfully].
BETH: Yes?
LISA: I just have this fantasy.
BETH: What fantasy?
LISA: It started out when I was home alone one day. Charles wasn’t there, Emma was asleep, and I thought of France and doing work for National Geographic again. I wondered if they would take me back.
BETH: That’s only natural, Lisa, you worked for them for the last three years [Nods and tries to console LISA by putting a hand on LISA’S knee].
LISA: Yeah, it was my lucky break. Charles and I really did want to have a kid though. Charles is perfect [Stands up and faces the kitchen, turning her back to BETH]. He is so funny, smart, kind, and he always makes sure I am taken care of, so I had a kid.
BETH: I don’t see the problem, what’s this fantasy? You aren’t thinking about leaving, are you?
LISA: I was, but that would leave Emma without a mother. I couldn’t do that to her.
BETH: What’ this fantasy then?
LISA: Well, I don’t know if you could even call it a fantasy. Maybe more of a thought, or an experience I sometimes have.
BETH: Okay?
LISA: It is like, when I wash dishes I look out the window, when Charles is gone, and Emma is asleep. I imagine what it would been like not to have her. I wonder what it would be like not to be a mother anymore, to not to be married anymore, to not have settled in this house.
BETH: You what? [Starts to fidget in her seat].
LISA: It’s like I can feel it. I can feel this substance in the air, like everything is happening at once, and I get so tired. I see what things could have been like. I hear the sounds of cars rushing and I can imagine myself in them, roaming the streets of Rome again, or Milan, or Venice. I can taste the gelato. Cool, calming, soft French vanilla on my tongue. I can witness the men in tight jeans chasing after the young Italian women in skirts. The thought makes me smile and I can also imagine spending my mornings on the beach watching the sunrise over that clear Italian water without the loud screams of that baby.
BETH: ‘That baby’? [Stands up to try to look at LISA in the face].
LISA: It’s just a fantasy. But sometimes it feels very real, like I never had her, like I’d never married Charles, like I’m still working. Like, I’m still in Paris waiting for my next story, my next flight. Then I’m here, realizing that I can never have that again, and I get so angry. The other day I broke a dish [Throws her fists up in exasperation and turns around to face BETH, smiling].
BETH: I’m worried about you. [Steps back towards the door, cradling her Gabby to her chest].
LISA: Oh, Beth, don’t be.
BETH: Where’s Emma?
LISA: What do you mean?
BETH: Where is Emma? Is Charles here? Where is your daughter, Lisa?
LISA: It’s just a fantasy, Beth! You don’t have to worry [Turns around again but this time stares at the stairs and starts humming “Rock-A-Bye Baby”].
BETH: [Voice rising] Where is she?!
LISA: [Continues to hum]
BETH: Where is your baby?!
LISA: [Stops humming and turns to BETH] She’s just sleeping, calm down; you’ll wake her up.
BETH: I don’t believe you!
LISA: Go check on her yourself then, she’s upstairs, I promise you.
BETH: Oh my god! No . . . [whispering] you didn’t!
LISA: Like I said, it was just a fantasy.
BETH exits. There is a sound of running up upstairs. When she is out of sight LISA stands up, puts on a pair of slippers, and slips out the door, humming to herself again.
CURTAIN
Alexandra Ellis is pursuing a Baccalaureate of English.