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Mark Twain in German-Language Newspapers and Periodicals

Die Frau ist gleich ihrer Toilette | 23 Feb. 1904

Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.), 23 Feb. 1904. Chronicling America: Historic American Newspapers. Lib. of Congress. <https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045081/1904-02-23/ed-1/seq-7/>

Mark Twain's speech "Woman - God Bless Her" was widely reported on in the American press and excerpts made it into German-language newspapers in the US and Europe as well. Many of the articles published in the German-language press are identical to the text below, i.e. those from Dresdner neueste Nachrichten (19 Jan. 1904, p.6) and Hannoverscher Courier (18 Jan. 1904, p.2), and they reference one specific article published in Neues Wiener Tageblatt (13 Jan. 1904, p.9) as their source text.

Key to annotations on German translations of Mark Twain's original texts

Transcription	English Translation
Die Frau ist gleich ihrer Toilette	A woman equals her dress
Aus einer Vorlesung, die Mark Twain über „Die Frau“ hielt, giebt das „Neue Wiener Tageblatt“ folgende belustigende Stelle wieder: “Mark Twains Ansicht nach bedeutet „Toilette“ „Frau“ und „Frau“ „Toilette“, denn er sagt: „Als Beispiel laßt uns die Anzüge zweier Gegenfüßler wählen, zum Beispiel jenen einer Eingeborenen von Mittelafrika und den einer gebildeten Tochter unserer höchstentwickelten neuen Gesittung. Bei den Kannibalen trägt die Frau zu Hause oder beim Einkaufen oder beim Besuchmachen immer eine und dieselbe Tracht, nämlich ihre natürliche Hautfärbung. Das ist alles, es ist ihre ganze Ausstattung. Es ist die leichteste Tracht der Welt, ist aber aus dem schwärzesten Stoff gemacht. Es ist auch schon als tiefe Trauer verkannt worden, aber es paßt immer. Es könnte unmöglich besser passen. Es ist entschieden die praktischste Tracht im ganzen Reiche der Mode - sie ist immer fertig. Wenn man bei einer solchen Dame vorspricht und seine Karte hineinschickt, wird das Kammermädchen niemals sagen: „Bitte, Platz zu nehmen, die Gnädige ist eben beim Anzug, in drei Viertelstunden wird sie herabkommen.“ O nein, die Gnädige ist immer im Anzug, und noch ehe man den Thürvorleger recht sehen kann, steht sie schon mitten unter uns. Dann wiederum gehen diese Damen nie zur Kirche, blos um zu was die oder die anhat, und wenn sie nach Hause kommen, beschreiben sie auch nicht, was diese oder jene angehabt hat, und verklatschen sie nicht. - Ein wichtiger Bestandtheil der Tochter der höheren Gesittung ist ihr Anzug - wie es sich auch geziemt. Manche gesittete Frau verliert die Hälfte ihrer Reize ohne ihren Anzug. Manche sogar alle. Wenn sie in vollem Staat erscheint, dann ist die Tochter der Gesittung ein Meisterwerk erlesenster Kunst und Auslage. Alle Länder und alle Himmelsstriche und alle Künste leisten Dienst, um ihren Theil beizutragen. Ihr Linnen ist aus Belfast, ihr Kleid aus Paris, ihre Spitzen sind aus Venedig, ihre Edelsteine aus Brasilien, ihre Armbänder aus Kalifornien; ihre Perlen aus Ceylon, ihre Kameen aus Rom; nur eines weiß ich nicht, nämlich woher sie ihre Haare hat, das habe ich nie herausfinden können.“	From a lecture given by Mark Twain on “The Woman”, the “Neues Wiener Tageblatt” reproduces the following amusing passage: “In Mark Twain's opinion, ‘dress’ means ‘woman’ and ‘woman’ means ‘dress’, for he says: ”For text let us take the dress of two antipodal types - the savage woman of Central Africa and the cultivated daughter of our high modern civilization. Among the Fans, a great negro tribe, [translated as "Among the cannibals"] a woman when dressed for home, or to go to market, or go out calling, does not wear anything at all but just her complexion. That is all; that is her entire outfit. It is the lightest costume in the world, but is made of the darkest material. It has often been mistaken for mourning. <It is the trimmest, and neatest, and gracefulest costume that is now in fashion; it wears well, is fast colors, doesn't show dirt; you don't have to send it down town to wash, and have some of it come back scorched with the flatiron, and some of it with the buttons ironed off, and some of it petrified with starch, and some of it chewed by the calf, and some of it rotted with acids, and some of it exchanged for other customers' things that haven't any virtue but holiness, and ten-twelfths of the pieces overcharged for, and the rest of the dozen "mislaid."> And it always fits; it is the perfection of a fit. And it is the handiest dress in the whole realm of fashion. It is always ready, always "done up." When you call on a Fan lady and send up your card, the hired girl never says: "Please take a seat, Madame is dressing; she will be down in three-quarters of an hour." No, Madame is always dressed, always ready to receive; and before you can get the door mat before your eyes she is in your midst. Then again the Fan ladies don't go to church to see what each other has got on; and they don't go back home and describe it and slander it. <Such is the dark child of savagery as to every-day toilette, and thus curiously enough she finds a point of contact with the fair daughter of civilization and high fashion - who often has "nothing to wear," and thus these widely separated types of the sex meet upon common ground. Yes, such is the Fan woman, as she appears in her simple, unostentatious, every-day toilet. But on state occasions she is more dressy. At a banquet she wears bracelets; at a lecture she wears earrings and a belt; at a ball she wears stockings, and with true feminine fondness for display, she wears them on her arms; at a funeral she wears a jacket of tar and ashes; at a wedding the bride who can afford it puts on pantaloons. Thus the dark child of savagery and the fair daughter of civilization meet once more upon common ground, and these two touches of nature make their whole world kin. Now we will consider the dress of our other type.> A large part of the daughter of civilization is her dress - as it should be. Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress, and some would lose all of it. The daughter of modern civilization, dressed at her utmost best, is a morsel of exquisite and beautiful art and expense. All the lands, all the climes, and all the arts are laid under tribute to furnish her forth. Her linen is from Belfast; her robe is from Paris; her lace is from Venice <or Spain or France; her feathers are from the remote regions of Southern Africa; her furs from the remote home of the iceberg and the aurora; her fan from Japan>; her diamonds from Brazil; her bracelets from California; her pearls from Ceylon; her cameos from Rome; <she has gems and trinkets from buried Pompeii, and others that graced comely Egyptian forms that have been dust and ashes now for forty centuries; her watch is from Geneva; her card-case is from China; her hair is from - from -> {The one thing,} I don't know {is} where her hair is from; I never could find out.”

Transcription

English Translation

Die Frau ist gleich ihrer Toilette

A woman equals her dress

Aus einer Vorlesung, die Mark Twain über „Die Frau“ hielt, giebt das „Neue Wiener Tageblatt“ folgende belustigende Stelle wieder: “Mark Twains Ansicht nach bedeutet „Toilette“ „Frau“ und „Frau“ „Toilette“, denn er sagt: „Als Beispiel laßt uns die Anzüge zweier Gegenfüßler wählen, zum Beispiel jenen einer Eingeborenen von Mittelafrika und den einer gebildeten Tochter unserer höchstentwickelten neuen Gesittung. Bei den Kannibalen trägt die Frau zu Hause oder beim Einkaufen oder beim Besuchmachen immer eine und dieselbe Tracht, nämlich ihre natürliche Hautfärbung. Das ist alles, es ist ihre ganze Ausstattung. Es ist die leichteste Tracht der Welt, ist aber aus dem schwärzesten Stoff gemacht. Es ist auch schon als tiefe Trauer verkannt worden, aber es paßt immer. Es könnte unmöglich besser passen. Es ist entschieden die praktischste Tracht im ganzen Reiche der Mode - sie ist immer fertig. Wenn man bei einer solchen Dame vorspricht und seine Karte hineinschickt, wird das Kammermädchen niemals sagen: „Bitte, Platz zu nehmen, die Gnädige ist eben beim Anzug, in drei Viertelstunden wird sie herabkommen.“ O nein, die Gnädige ist immer im Anzug, und noch ehe man den Thürvorleger recht sehen kann, steht sie schon mitten unter uns. Dann wiederum gehen diese Damen nie zur Kirche, blos um zu was die oder die anhat, und wenn sie nach Hause kommen, beschreiben sie auch nicht, was diese oder jene angehabt hat, und verklatschen sie nicht. - Ein wichtiger Bestandtheil der Tochter der höheren Gesittung ist ihr Anzug - wie es sich auch geziemt. Manche gesittete Frau verliert die Hälfte ihrer Reize ohne ihren Anzug. Manche sogar alle. Wenn sie in vollem Staat erscheint, dann ist die Tochter der Gesittung ein Meisterwerk erlesenster Kunst und Auslage. Alle Länder und alle Himmelsstriche und alle Künste leisten Dienst, um ihren Theil beizutragen. Ihr Linnen ist aus Belfast, ihr Kleid aus Paris, ihre Spitzen sind aus Venedig, ihre Edelsteine aus Brasilien, ihre Armbänder aus Kalifornien; ihre Perlen aus Ceylon, ihre Kameen aus Rom; nur eines weiß ich nicht, nämlich woher sie ihre Haare hat, das habe ich nie herausfinden können.“

From a lecture given by Mark Twain on “The Woman”, the “Neues Wiener Tageblatt” reproduces the following amusing passage: “In Mark Twain's opinion, ‘dress’ means ‘woman’ and ‘woman’ means ‘dress’, for he says: ”For text let us take the dress of two antipodal types - the savage woman of Central Africa and the cultivated daughter of our high modern civilization. Among the Fans, a great negro tribe, [translated as "Among the cannibals"] a woman when dressed for home, or to go to market, or go out calling, does not wear anything at all but just her complexion. That is all; that is her entire outfit. It is the lightest costume in the world, but is made of the darkest material. It has often been mistaken for mourning. <It is the trimmest, and neatest, and gracefulest costume that is now in fashion; it wears well, is fast colors, doesn't show dirt; you don't have to send it down town to wash, and have some of it come back scorched with the flatiron, and some of it with the buttons ironed off, and some of it petrified with starch, and some of it chewed by the calf, and some of it rotted with acids, and some of it exchanged for other customers' things that haven't any virtue but holiness, and ten-twelfths of the pieces overcharged for, and the rest of the dozen "mislaid."> And it always fits; it is the perfection of a fit. And it is the handiest dress in the whole realm of fashion. It is always ready, always "done up." When you call on a Fan lady and send up your card, the hired girl never says: "Please take a seat, Madame is dressing; she will be down in three-quarters of an hour." No, Madame is always dressed, always ready to receive; and before you can get the door mat before your eyes she is in your midst. Then again the Fan ladies don't go to church to see what each other has got on; and they don't go back home and describe it and slander it.
<Such is the dark child of savagery as to every-day toilette, and thus curiously enough she finds a point of contact with the fair daughter of civilization and high fashion - who often has "nothing to wear," and thus these widely separated types of the sex meet upon common ground. Yes, such is the Fan woman, as she appears in her simple, unostentatious, every-day toilet. But on state occasions she is more dressy. At a banquet she wears bracelets; at a lecture she wears earrings and a belt; at a ball she wears stockings, and with true feminine fondness for display, she wears them on her arms; at a funeral she wears a jacket of tar and ashes; at a wedding the bride who can afford it puts on pantaloons. Thus the dark child of savagery and the fair daughter of civilization meet once more upon common ground, and these two touches of nature make their whole world kin.
Now we will consider the dress of our other type.> A large part of the daughter of civilization is her dress - as it should be. Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress, and some would lose all of it. The daughter of modern civilization, dressed at her utmost best, is a morsel of exquisite and beautiful art and expense. All the lands, all the climes, and all the arts are laid under tribute to furnish her forth. Her linen is from Belfast; her robe is from Paris; her lace is from Venice <or Spain or France; her feathers are from the remote regions of Southern Africa; her furs from the remote home of the iceberg and the aurora; her fan from Japan>; her diamonds from Brazil; her bracelets from California; her pearls from Ceylon; her cameos from Rome; <she has gems and trinkets from buried Pompeii, and others that graced comely Egyptian forms that have been dust and ashes now for forty centuries; her watch is from Geneva; her card-case is from China; her hair is from - from -> {The one thing,} I don't know {is} where her hair is from; I never could find out.”

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