CEC Journal: Issue 7: Hurt and Repair

Cecilia Pérez Gago, ‘20 Argentina

I never in my life thought I’d set foot in a real life detention center. I mean I think most kids don’t, at least not willingly. When being faced with a bunch of girls my age I usually panic. I’m not the best at making small talk, and I’m most certainly not great at keeping a conversation going. When there’s guards physically preventing me from leaving the room, I find myself on the edge, looking down on the abyss of the warning-anxiety-danger-bad-turn around-zone. I’m not very social, I admit it, it comes with the package of being me. I signed up for YDDC because it was legitimately a one of a kind opportunity I knew for a fact I would never, ever get again. However, I very nearly bolted the first time we actually went there. I was terrified, in my head questions like “what if they don’t like me, what if they think I’m lame?” We proceeded to debate modern feminism, inclusivity, and ways to become better at respectively fighting patriarchal oppression. C’mon, these girls really are quite cool. So yeah, I learnt that these girls were awesome as they managed to start tearing down stereotypes that I had unknowingly built up, as I realized that I was learning from them, not the other way around.

When I was first working on my Global Politics IA I thought to work with recidivism, not because I am a genius of the world of global political conflicts, but because one of the girls talked to me about it. Recidivism is a huge problem because the structures currently in place in a lot of countries and most certainly in the US don’t allow ex-convicted humans to reinsert themselves socially. I’d never thought about these topics in my life and here I am, in front of a 19 year old girl (like me) who is also a mother and seems to be the most socially conscientious person I’ve ever met, who’s also taking the time to educate me in a topic I have no knowledge of, and with the patience of a saint. And I am starstruck.

It is safe to say no time at the YDDC was ever enough. All activities felt too short as I was being educated left and right and front and center and I was learning so much I could not believe it. It was hard, yes, hard to accept, hard to digest, but it was also rewarding to experience. I still miss the flipped power dynamics, the ability to open up the floor for the taboo, and the experience of going in thinking of myself as a teacher and ending up being the most clueless student I could possibly turn into. Feminism, recidivism, economics, power, fear, all awesome conversations with awesome people. All awesome.

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