This page is referenced by:

• 1 media/Are-we-and-our-kids-becoming-addicted-to-technology-What-can-we-do-1.jpg 2017-12-05T07:16:59-08:00 Final research paper: The Intimacy of Conversation is fading away 9 Due to technology, people are no longer able to experience the intimacy of the conversation. plain 2017-12-13T13:57:38-08:00

   Technology is changing faster than we think. With portable devices, communication with others makes you feel like you are right next to them. You can connect with others with just one touch, or through the sound of your voice. You can say it’s easy as blowing out a candle. Technology allows us to connect globally with others through easy usage. However, technology is controlling not only what we do, but what we have become and that is why people spend too much time on their devices. In addition, the software is created to control people is based on what they like. Furthermore, one can lie easily since people do not face to face. Lastly, people become lonely and awkward when everyone is using their devices. I argue that due to technology, people are no longer able to experience the intimacy of the conversation.   

  According to an article called, “Americans devote more than 10 hours a day to screen time and growing”, by Jacqueline Howard. The data that was collected shows that people are on their devices for about nine hours and thirty-nine minutes. Compared to 2015, people in 2016 increased technology use by one hour per day. Furthermore, the data also shows that eighty-one percent of adults in the United States use a smartphone and ninety-four percent of people have an HD television, where people are spending four and a half hours each day. To summarize, people work up to 40 hours of work in a week, sleep up to 49 hours, assuming people sleep up to seven hours per night, and spend three hours on personal care. Then, people are left with 58 hours for other things. “If people are spending over 50 hours a week with media for entertainment purposes,” said Gentile. He added, “Then there's really no time left for any of the other things we value,” (Howard, 2016). This shows that people are really not choosing to spend time for other things, like going outside and actually meeting people.  As a result, people are not communicating with each other in person, but they are connecting with their friends through social media.

  We are so attached to technology that we always carry our devices everywhere we go, implying that technology controls who we are today. An article called, “Disruption and Control” by Nicholas Carr who argue about how technology is controlling everything: “They are technologies of control. They were designed as tools for monitoring and influencing human behavior, for controlling what people do and how they do it” (Carr, 2013).  This sentence is powerful as stated. People who develop the software influence humans to use their program again and again by making it addictive. They are distracting people from doing the other things. For example, Facebook, Skype, and Instagram are designed for people to connect with others who we do not see often. To connect via social media, people spend 10 hours and 39 minutes each day on their devices. Also, people befriend their friends on social media, which makes it convenient for people to communicate with one another rather than waste their time traveling. Due to social media, people do not want to meet others in person, because it makes feel like a drag when we can reach them in under a minute. That is the reason why technology is highly changing human behavior since people are neglecting the importance of close interaction with other people.

  Another article, “The flight from the conversation” by Sherry Turkle, states, “The little devices Most of us carry around are so powerful that they change not only what we do, but also who we are” (Turkle, 2012). As Turkle had mentioned, technology changed how we are now and how we behave. For example, direct conversation teaches people to be patient for a response because they can see the person thinking for a response. However, when we try to communicate through digital devices our habit changes and we want to know the answer immediately, even if the conversation is not important. In addition, as humans, we mimic others. Whatever is portrayed by someone we try to live that life too. Instead of spending time enjoying the concert, we would rather be doing a live stream to impress others. When someone else does not have such an interesting life as what we call instagram lives, they tend to feel down and become depressed over time. These examples show that technology are leading to a generation where digital conversations have become the style of communication. They want to be connected more than having the actual conversation. One sixteen-year-old boy who relies mostly on the texting and social media had said, “Someday, someday, but certainly, not now, I’d like to learn how to have a conversation.”(Turkle, 2012).  

  Relationships and trust can break easily as glass and the simple reason could be lying. Now that we have social media accessible at any time we want, people can text and facetime with others in many parts of the world. However, people do not know whether they are telling the truth or lie. Many people get into relationship through social media, but sometimes ending up breaking up with one another, because it is not the same person as they think, which is known as catfishing.

  An article,  “Consider the Catfish,” by Amanda Ann Klein, Klein gave an example from the Catfish show on MTV which is hosted by Nev and Max. The story is about Michael and Caroline, who met on a dating app. They talked and texted for eighteen months, but they never Facetimed with each other. One reason that Caroline gave Michael was that webcam was broken. To clear the doubt for Caroline that Michael had, he wrote a letter to Nev and Max. Then, Nev and Max performed a background check on Caroline and fixed a place where Michael could meet her. When Michael finally met her, he was surprised to see her because it was not the same person that he saw on her profile. Klein stated on her article, “Michael is surprised to discover that the delicate, ginger-haired Caroline is actually a pale, heavyset woman named Heather, whom he had previously posed as a different woman, named Claire.”(Klein, 2015). This quotation showed that what he had imagined and seen the picture on social media was nothing compared to a real person. Caroline’s actual name was Heather, who was a school teacher. Most of the things that this catfisher had said were lies. Due to these people, Michael and many other catfish victims are hurt. Even though people have conversations with strangers through texting, they trust social media. Texting suffices. This connection ultimately satisfies people, not giving them the need to meet the person. If they had considered that we are all anonymous on social media regardless of having real or fake identities, then we would all feel the need to personally meet, just to clear suspiciously. A sociologist from the same article, Nathan Jurgenson, mention that, “We’re coming to terms with there being just one reality and digital is part of it, not any less real or true”(Klein, 2015).

  A few months ago, I was watching a YouTube video called, Facetime Secret by Rudy Mancuso. The video was for entertainment, but was significant. The character Rudy was in the bar with his friends, and when his mom video-called him, he showed his mom that he was studying by showing his pen and notebook. His mom trusted him. In another case, the video showed that his boss video-called him, he showed his boss the laptop and he was wearing glasses, he told the boss that he is working on the assignment. The boss believed him as well. To me, the purpose of the video is that most people can only see the other person from shoulder to the head while they are facing timing, as a result, we only can read their facial expression. However, we cannot determine their body language, which is important to identify whether they are telling the truth or hiding something. Also, we do not know their surroundings or who might be with them, versus when you meet them in person. Therefore, technology makes it convenient for people to connect and see each other, yet, it is still hard for people to trust and have confidence in others. However, if people have the experience of talking to each other in person, then people would know their surrounding and well as their body language.    

  One purpose of technology is to help us connect with people and communicate whenever we want to. However, still, there are cons of using technology. A video that was posted in the article called, “Does Technology make us more Alone?” by Michael Gonchar shows students’ opinion on technology. One of the students who reply to video name was Taylor. She had mentioned that when she is surrounded by people, they stare at their phone causing to her feel left out. That is why she pulls out the phone to avoid the awkward situation. So, this way she won’t be caught up in the tension. This situation not only happens to Taylor, but to others as well and we can see this happening every day on the bus and the train. In the train, for example, people do not want to make people feel uncomfortable by making eye contact or by smiling, so people just stare at their phone or listen to music with their eyes closed.

      On the other hand, one cannot deny that technology has enhanced our communication. People can communicate with one another from a different country and even from Space. It made something impossible to possible. Some people lives also changed due to social media. For example, social media is helping LGBTQ people come out. People do not have to know each other, but yet they can relate and help each other by giving advice. From a research paper called,  “Queer identity online: Informal learning and teaching experiences of LGBTQ individuals on social media” by Jesse Fox and Rachel Ralston,” one of the participant said, “I haven’t met these people, but I know that they’re like me, and so I can relate to them as I’m going through the coming out phase .. I can get advice or whatever through this phase.” She continued, “They’re helpful.” (Fox and Ralston, 838, 2016 ). Furthermore, other participants also talked about how famous actress’ coming out stories helped people to encourage and gave them strength. Although communication is not happening face to face, people could feel the friendship with others since they can relate. In addition, technology is helping those who are shy and those who are in depression because people can be anonymous and yet they can share their feelings with the world. These ways they have someone to connect and talk to. Technology helps people to connect more with each other and same time help each other.

  In conclusion, technology is dynamically changing and causing people to have an awkward social interaction. One of the reason is that half the time we are spending on the devices rather than extracurricular activities. Another reason is that technology is controlling what we do and that is why people do not go outside and meet in person. Furthermore, lying can be done very easily like catfishing, even when we are doing video chatting. Lastly, when people are using their electronic devices, it isolates others. These problems lead to people not having a real conversation directly and the closeness that you are supposed to have diminishes. In my opinion, the solution to this problem is that not to not take advantage of the use of technology but to have limits and do not let it control you. What I mean is that we should have a restrictions when we are with friends and family we can put our electronics aside and listen to the conversation. To avoid being catfished and fraud, we should do more research on them by picture search or a name search and do not believe everything someone says. Do not be quick to send money or inappropriate images or information that can be incriminating. Lastly, before you develop affection towards a stranger, face timing is very important but meeting in person is better and recommended, so you know that person is same as that person had said. Although, people might argue that technology brings us close to one another, people are forgetting the experience of having an intimate conversation with each other. I guess you can say that the joke of creating a texting lane will become a reality, for people no longer live and enjoy the moment, talking freely or simply enjoying each others company and time. Instead, as I walk along I see everyone’s head down. Maybe, in a few years our posture may be developed to such, that it becomes an evolutionary change.

  
  
  
  
   

  Work Cites:

  1. Carr, Nicholas . “Disruption and control.” ROUGH TYPE, 10 June 2013, www.roughtype.com/?p=3395.

  2. Howard, Jacqueline. “Americans at more than 10 hours a day on screens.” CNN, Cable News Network, 29 July, 2016.http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/30/health/americans-screen-time-nielsen/index.html

  3. Turkle, Sherry. “Opinion | The Flight From Conversation.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 21 Apr. 2012, www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/opinion/sunday/the-flight-from-conversation.html.

  4. Klein, Amanda Ann. “Consider the Catfish.” The New Yorker, The New Yorker, 19 June 2017, www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/consider-the-catfish.

  5. rudy,mancuso. YouTube, YouTube, 11 Mar. 2017, www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVzeW1_hyHI&t=41s.

  6. Fox, Jesse, and Rachel Ralston. “Queer identity online: Informal learning and teaching experiences of LGBTQ individuals on social media.” Computers in Human Behavior, vol. 65, 2016, pp. 635–642., doi:10.1016/j.chb.2016.06.009.

  7. Gonchar, Michael. “Does Technology Make Us More Alone?” The New York Times, The New York Times, 14 Oct. 2016, www.nytimes.com/2016/10/14/learning/does-technology-make-us-more-alone.html.