Expectation is the Root of All Evil
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Unhealthy Idealization of Marriage in Gone Girl
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2019-05-14T04:45:51-07:00
Unhealthy Idealization of Marriage in Gone Girl
In exploring the multilayered themes which made Gone Girl a contemporary bestseller, it is important to focus on the theme and discussion of toxic relationships in the novel. Nick and Amy's marriage is characterized by an extremely unhealthy setting of expectations built on relationship ideals that do not match the reality of their marriage. Therefore, analyzing their marriage through the lens of "expectation is the root of all evil" helps us understand that the discussion of toxic relationships in the novel, and later in the film, adds to the relatability of Gone Girl.
From their first encounter, there was an unequal sense of what Nick and Amy each expected from their relationship. Amy instantly saw Nick as the man of her dreams, writing about him in her diary and immediately envisioning their future life together.
"I'm so crazy stupid happy. I met a boy." -Amy
Nick and Amy's unrealistic expectations of each other require them to be entirely different characters. Nick expects Amy to align with and respond to his every need and want, essentially asking her to be a more 'traditional' wife which is not keeping with her New York persona and lifestyle.
Amy expects Nick to be the ideal sentimental husband she pictures in her head. Amy’s expectations of Nick may stem from her upbringing, being surrounded by her parents’ overly romantic relationship. Similarly, Nick’s behavior towards, and expectations of, Amy may also stem from his own childhood and the constant presence of nurturing female figures in his life; his mother and his sister.As long as Nick is not the man Amy builds him up to be, he will never be good enough for her. And as long as Amy is not the woman who sacrifices her life happily to move to the Midwest with her husband, she will never be good enough for him.
Thus, Nick and Amy’s unrealistic expectations of each other are the root cause of their extreme and chronic dissatisfaction. As long as Nick is not the man Amy builds him up to be, he will never be good enough for her. And as long as Amy is not the woman who sacrifices her life happily to move to the Midwest with her husband, she will never be good enough for him.
It takes Nick and Amy too long to realize that in reality, they don’t “have the same rhythm,” they don’t “click” or “just know each other” (Flynn 30). In fact, they both constantly express frustration at not knowing what the other is thinking. From the very first page of the novel, Nick pictures “opening [Amy’s] skull, unspooling her brain and sifting through it, trying to catch and pin down her thoughts” (Flynn 3).
"I picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brains, trying to get answers...What are you thinking? How are you feeling? What have we done to each other?"- Nick
Nick and Amy’s refusal to accept the reality of who they are as individuals and, more importantly, who they are as a couple, has trapped them in a toxic relationship. This notion of painting an ideal world, with rounded characters that complete each other and fit into the 'plotline' perfectly has severely affected them both and continues to do so until the very end.
Works Cited:
Flynn, Gillian. Gone Girl. New York, Penguin Random House, 2012.
