“[T]o the end of his life [Montraville] was subject to severe fits of melancholy, and while he remained at New- York frequently retired to the church- yard, where he would weep over the grave, and regret the untimely fate of the lovely Charlotte Temple” (Rowson, pg. 89).
Montraville only “regretted the untimely fate of the lovely Charlotte” when she dies; that is, she only becomes relevant to him by virtue of her death. This is especially relevant because her "untimely" death was brought on by his lack of attention and care towards her. The same can be said of Lily's so- called "friends" in relation to their sympathy or lack thereof until the very last minute:
The door “had been opened by Gerty Farish- and… behind her, in an agitated blur, several other figures ominously loomed.
“Lawrence!” Gerty cried in a strange voice, “how could you get here so quickly?”- and the trembling hand she laid on him seemed instantly to close about his heart” (Wharton, pg. 324- 325)
In the last moments of her life, all the women that Lily had called friends (except Nettie Struther who, funnily enough, she didn’t even know until her hour of need) had more or less deserted her. So it is interesting to see how soon they all turn up to ‘pity’ her and ‘be there for her’ after she dies. This is a reflection of society that does not pay attention to women unless they either die, or become victims in some other way.