The first word that comes to mind for me is hope. Today, I see our stories are being excavated, rediscovered, revived, and most importantly, not forgotten. It gives me hope to see our current generation benefiting from a safe space to deconstruct generations of colonization within us. I may still have to survive, adapt and assimilate in my own way, but not in the exact way that my ancestors had to. And for that, I'm glad. I'm glad that many of us are determined to break the colonial cycle. I hope that a new Pinay (or the Pinay from pre-colonial times) will arise and emerge into this modern age to do good for today and for generations to come. I hope for the future generations to spend less of their time excavating our history and more time celebrating it.
The second word that comes to mind is peace. I feel at peace knowing, 100+ episodes later, that our collective wants to be remembered. We want to excavate stories from the past, to tell our own stories, and to document our stories for the future. I feel at peace knowing that I'm not alone. Thanks to my co-host, our team, our past guests and our listeners, I wholeheartedly know that I have my community. I've come to learn that my biggest fear is to be forgotten and that I’ll never be seen the way that I want to feel seen. In all of the stories I've collected so far, and even excavating the story of my father, I know that I'm going to be okay. I feel at peace that I don’t always have to be self-sufficient, to be my own ally, or to advocate for our community alone. I can continue to show up and work through generational trauma knowing that I am fully supported. I feel at peace knowing that our show has caused even a small ripple effect for other Pinays to exercise their voices, share their stories, and help remember the stories of our past. I feel at peace that we won't be forgotten, erased or rewritten in history for as long as we can help it now.
The third word that comes to mind is gratitude. I’m grateful to have the means to produce such a show. Yet, if we choose to take breaks from producing, there’s no pressure or fear that we’ll ‘fall behind’ because we have so many episodes people can refer to in the offseason. I’m grateful for Nani and I to take a break, regroup, rejuvenate, reflect, and evolve upon our return. I’m grateful for a community that doesn’t demand that I operate on fumes. It’s more than okay to rest. I am still loved and I will still be remembered, even if I am resting.
Lastly, the fourth word that comes to mind is boundaries. Being a professional podcaster while also providing Filipinx Representation in the Digital Age has taught me that I can communicate healthy boundaries and build a community that values my niceness, generosity, attentiveness and empathy. In my continual, imperfect effort to better myself in front of the public eye, I hope to encourage others to also do the same.
Amos, Jen, Nani Dominguez, and Stacey A. B. Salinas. “Pinay Podcasters: Building a Self-Sustaining Community Through Storytelling, Collective Healing & Learning, and Collaboration.” The Filipino American Woman Project Podcast. Modified May
29, 2021. Https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jenandnani/replay-available-bulosan-filipinx-studies-conference-workshop.
TFAW. The Filipino American Woman Project Podcast. Modified October 2021, Https://tfawproject.com/.