Bodies

Beginnings

October 2012

"You know, when I first started dating you, you said I was pretty, you said you were lucky to have me, and I felt so happy. And then now you are the one pushing me to grow taller, to not eat so much so I'm not so fat, to wear nice clothes, to get me fairer skin. Naive of me to think none of that would matter. I suppose it does, I suppose I should be a good girlfriend, the perfect one, so you can be proud of me."

"When I told you I cut bangs even though it wasn't my fault (and hairdressers always make you look like an idiot before your hair grows out anyway), you scolded me so badly. You said you didn't want an ugly girlfriend, you said I would be an embarrassment to you."

"You complain about my height, but you know I was born with it, and you know I can't change it, and you don't let me wear heels, so what am I supposed to do? You say you want me to wear nice clothes but all the nice clothes I have, you say I look too slutty when I wear it, and you don't want me to be one of those girly girls who shops a lot and wears make-up to look polished. So what exactly do you want?"

"Now, I'm exercising everyday. I'm doing all sorts of things, I'm putting in so much effort to be this perfect girlfriend, and I keep telling myself I don't mind."

This page has paths: