Picking Up The Pieces

One in five new military recruits are women. Over 220 000 American women have served in the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts. Until recently, they were not regarded as having been in combat, although in contemporary war zones the front line is everywhere.

In this story, seven female veterans tell about their personal struggle with PTSD, after serving in Afghanistan or Iraq in recent years. They describe the experience of a war from the female perspective: being a minority in the combat zone, but also about war and its consequences from the point of view of a female combatant. The women come from various backgrounds, but the war left them feeling surprisingly the same. They witness a very profound and honest tale about the overall hard reality for U.S. soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. They tell about the constant pressure and fear of random attacks, loneliness and trauma that breaks the souls of possibly hundreds of thousands of American soldiers. The war is imprinted in their nightmares about black trash bags where they collected body parts of the wounded in a hospital or which could be filled with explosives on roads in the crisis zone.

One of the interviewed soldiers Daniela did not make it to deployment, because she was raped by her fellow Marine on the base at home. Rape and sexual trauma in the military is acknowledged even by Department of Defense. According to its figures, there were 3230 reported military sexual assaults in 2009. In Iraq, 163 soldiers suffered sexual assault in 2008. Much more assaults go unreported.

Loneliness in the combat zone and at home defines the veterans' experience. Retired Major Linda Stanley returned home feeling empty, after nursing blown-up bodies of soldiers in Iraq, despite years of experience and coping skills learnt as a military nurse. She is worried about the hundreds of thousands of veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. They are in danger of ending up homeless in the streets, like many Vietnam veterans, if society does not see their plight.

The worsening of the U.S. economy pushes many young people to consider a military career. Whanja Brown joined the military because she needed money. Whanja's partner ran her deeply into debt. After serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, she has paid her debt, but she is picking up her pieces, fighting against feelings of isolation and anxiety. She got burned and lost three friends in the war.

Also American women near retirement age have been serving in combat zones in Iraqi and Afghanistan. Gwen Chiaramonte was one of many reservists near retirement age,  called up to deploy in the war because of active manpower shortages. She describes the state of mind of young soldiers under constant threat of random attacks, suffering from PTSD and overwhelming hatred towards the Iraqi people and the pressures of seeing their friends die. Soldiers' anguish followed her home, even if she is a professional social worker. 

Gwen became angry at the military for allowing bullying and harassment in the ranks, seeing the young people did not have a way out, if they faced trouble. She could not understand why the soldiers are not given enough rest when on active duty. Gwen saw many American soldiers as ticking time bombs, who could go on the rampage with their loaded guns. 

Gwen Chiaramonte, Sue Max and Mary-Ann Rich also talk about the strains of "weekend warriors", reserves not accustomed to active duty, who are ordered at short notice to a combat zone for a year and thrown back to their civilian life as abruptly without any safety cushions. On top of this, the women have been sent in harm's way despite the fact that they were not officially called as combat soldiers until recently. Already four years ago reservist Sue Max had to carry tens of thousands of dollars out of the compound in extremely dangerous conditions to pay Iraqi contractors for goods and services at the age of 59. The memories still chase her. The insecurity of the threat of indirect fire was another trauma that stayed with her after returning home.

Especially the reservist interviewees felt they fell hard on the ground alone without support, when they returned to their civilian life. Despite briefings and knowledge about PTSD, it took time to all of them to recognize and accept their troubling condition at home. Many female veterans feel the added ignorance from the public. Most Americans do not need to recognize that the country is at war. But even those who notice pass the women, expecting that only men serve. 

Help may be available from the VA and other institutions. Finding it and having strength to look for it, is a different story. Mary-Ann Rich was first turned away from the VA for bureaucratic reasons. She, like many others, has found it difficult to accept therapy. PTSD victims want individual care, but often the care works like an institutional machinery, with expectations that the same pattern fits everyone.

You don't yet see many of the veterans of Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom living on the streets. Young veterans may sleep on a friend's couch or in their car, quietly, privately dealing with their past as a wounded soldier, but with no visible injuries, says clinical director Bill Wallace of the U.S. Vets in Long Beach. But there is a danger and fear of a new Vietnam-like generation that ends up on the streets within a few years, if there is no safety net to catch them if they fall.