Putting It Together
All ReferencesSo, what is it?
In my proposal, I had used song and soundscape interchangeably. I wasn't sure what it should be, or what it would become. In the end, it is mostly a song, but there are "soundscapey" elements. The song features instruments as well as sound effects of all kinds. Much like the first draft, I pulled musical instruments from Garageband itself, making the melody, bass line, and percussion myself. I then utilized Adobe sound effects to add to the chaos as well as recordings of my own heart and breathing.The song became less about a general cyborg and more about myself as a specific computer/human hybrid. I leaned into exploring the mechanics of my personal brain, specifically how my autism causes utter sound chaos in my head at all times. The song starts off as a simple song, but becomes less focused as sound effects close in on the listener. The sound file has digital sounds and "alive" sounds coming from different speakers to emphasize their difference, with the musical instruments coming from both speaker as a sort of connective tissue. The song becomes loud and chaotic before ceasing entirely, with only breathing and heartbeats to be heard; this was an attempt to explore a panic attack that leads to calm and focus. The listener sits in the eye of the storm for a moment before the song starts to build itself up again. The song begins as it did the first time, bringing the listener back to the moment before it all went wrong. This time, the song is a touch slower and my heartbeat can be heard in the background. This "second coming" of the song includes more sound effects than the first time around, tangling the chaos of the brain with the creativity of song-making. The focus is not entirely on the song itself, but on how the song works with the sound effects to create a soundscape mimicking the creative process of my own brain. There is a moment where the song reaches the point at which it cut off previously, with the heartbeat growing more noticeable for a moment, before things calm down once more as the song comes to its conclusion.
I do think I succeeded at bringing my previous projects into this final one, though it was done subtly. From the random number project, I brought my newfound understanding of Garageband. From the tape experiment, I brought ideas of breaking down barriers between belief and reality. This idea can be seen through the slow moment in the middle of the piece where the panic has finally subsided, leaving a musical moment in which human, instrument, and nonhuman machine work together to create something bigger than any one thing. Further, I held onto the moment where action stops, imitating the moment of not quite throwing the bust, not quite letting the sound overpower me. From the Butler project, I brought my desperation to validate my originality in light of new computer ability. After my Butler images, I finally understood where AI and computer machines lack originality and possibility, and I brought my humanity to the piece to fill in the gaps that would otherwise have been left. From the Stein experiment, I brought my confusion regarding the truth of art. I brought a need to feel creative, to feel in control, and I found control through letting that control go.
This project was my chance to ask my questions about what a machine constitutes and what it can do, and my answer is: this. A machine can make this, because I made this. I am a machine, and that is okay. I need not dissociate, to refer to Lucas LaRochelle's art exhibit, to justify the multiplicity of my being. In order to be whole, I accept the nonhuman influences that have developed my existence into something beyond human.
References
"Adobe Audition Sound Effects." Adobe, Adobe Inc., https://www.adobe.com/products/audition/offers/adobeauditiondlcsfx.html. Accessed 12 November 2024.
LaRochelle, Lucas. Sometimes I forget what feeling felt like because I was never there when it happened, 13 Sep. 2024-12 Oct. 2024, University of Toronto Centre for Culture and Technology, Toronto.
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