In Memory of a Summer's Day
Artist Statement
The title "In memory of a summer's day" was a quote drawn from Dodgson's original dedication of the book to Alice Liddell, where he harkens back to the birth of Wonderland one afternoon while they were out on the river. I imagined Alice's sister writing the song out of longing for the summer days of her own girlhood, dedicating the song to Alice but also to the younger version of herself. This song came out of nostalgia for my childhood, a nostalgia I channeled through this new fictional perspective. I was very imaginative when I was young, but as I grew up, the more whimsical "Alice-y" parts of myself became harder to find. I see myself more in Alice's older sister - I am also an eldest daughter, with a younger sister who is (well, used to be) much wilder and high spirited than myself, and I find myself trying hard- sometimes too hard - to do the rational things, to be polite, to be unassuming. In the myriad depictions of the pair of sisters at the riverbank in the story's opening scene, Alice's sister appears to be the model Victorian woman - fulfilling her duties unquestioningly, sitting quietly and properly, tending after her sister, and certainly not embarking on any adventures. However, I imagine there is much more to the eldest sister than the prim, proper face she puts on. Though she appears to be the complete foil of Alice, I believe that they are deep down much more similar - but as the eldest daughter, she had to shed her humor, her whimsy, her inquisitive nature in exchange for etiquette and responsibility.She is too old to go down rabbit holes, to attend bizarre tea parties - too old even to drown in her own tears, although she has her whole childhood to mourn, a challenge that the young Alice has yet to confront; she has exchanged her childhood freedom for womanhood. Throughout the song, she considers her own childhood experience in Wonderland - or at least whatever vague memory remains in her adult mind - and longs to return to the fantasy, the wonder of her youth. In the last section of the piece, she is drawn back to the present, to the sleeping Alice beside her, torn between her responsibility to wake the idle Alice from her dream,(and with it her hidden desire to shield her sister from growing up). In the end, she does what is expected of her and wakes Alice, but not without guilt. I imagine this guilt permeates their entire relationship, as she watches herself model “grown up” “practical” behavior that is in such contrast to Alice’s curiosity and adventurous spirit. In these moments she sees herself in a cruel light, as a “queen without a heart”. Maybe this is simply the reality of aging. However, I think the life and spirit of Charles Dodgson disproves this belief, as he was extremely imaginative, imagining up the scenes and characters in wonderland, creating word games and witty references and puzzles. In honor of Dodgson’s sense of whimsy, I decided to play with fluctuating tempos and time signatures, forgoing the typical song structure of verse chorus verse chorus, and exchanging it for more unique sections, with less repetition. The collage art I created to serve as the song’s album cover was inspired by the English countryside and Victorian era valentines. I wanted it to seem close to something the sister might have made herself, although plastic CD cases were, of course, not around yet. When making the collage, I used vintage paper and lace, and a variety of dried flowers including roses, chamomile, and primarily purple wisteria flowers, all of which were popular in English gardens.
Lyrics to “In Memory of a Summer's Day”
How peculiar is the childish mind
Mice and rabbits keeping time
I miss the world behind your eyes
Oh, Alice don’t come home this time
If only I could follow you down
Big and small
Short and tall
Drink me up
Pour me out
Dragon heart
I might drown
Take the key
Please little mouse
A cat without a grin
A grin without a cat
A queen without a heart
A heart that misses when she was a girl
How peculiar is the childish mind
Mice and rabbits keeping time
I miss the world behind your eyes
Oh, Alice don’t come home this time
If only I could follow you down
I can’t wake you
I won’t wake you
I should wake you
Why did I wake you?
I’m sorry, sweet child
I have grown out of dreaming
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
Once you get older, you’ll see
It’s more than poetry that’ll fade from your memory
