The hallways were sparsely decorated. Everything was dark and heavy, like he'd wanted to make it as stereotypically masculine as possible – but the lack of actual decoration made it look half-finished, like there wasn't any heart to it. Of course, that carelessness made it even more intimidating. The music industry bastards did that with everything.

She finally came to a halt outside the biggest door yet. Very Freudian, she thought, and raised a hand to knock.

The door swung inward of its own accord.

"Beyoncé the Vampire Slayer," that same arrogant voice said.

She couldn't stop herself from laughing. The dark walls, the enormous mahogany desk, the two chairs sitting behind it – "Seriously? Are you joking with this shit? Nice dick substitution. Very subtle. You should add some antlers on the wall."

"Oh, it's not substitution." Jay-z smirked. He was wearing huge sunglasses, and his fingers were covered in rings. He looked ridiculous – but Beyoncé wasn't stupid enough to look away.

"Oh my God," Kanye said faintly behind her.

His starstruck tone shook her out of her reverie. "Okay, you've got a big dick. Give me the girl." At this point, she was a little worried about the girl herself. This guy probably couldn't take care of a goldfish, much less a teenage girl.

"She's not here, actually," Jay-z said.

"Where is she?"

Jay-z shrugged. "Fighting demons."

For a second all she could think about was being fifteen again, one of the first Slayers the Council had been able to grab before the newly formed Slayer's Legion could get to her – tossed out into an arena without any training and told to dust the vampires surrounding her. "You stupid fuck."

"Beyoncé!" Kanye sounded like someone had put a gun to his forehead.

But Jay-z didn't even blink. "What, you think I'm an idiot? She's been getting hand-to-hand lessons since the day she broke her mic. And she's out there with five ex-military guys. I'm not as shady as your Watcher's Council, Slayer."