Beyoncé didn't mind the bloody part, but she didn't really feel like dying any time soon. So she took his recommendations and did them twice over, running double what he told her, practicing for eight hours a day instead of four, and living and breathing her slaying. As more and more Slayers were called, the world became more visibly chaotic. It shouldn't have been possible that vampires and demons would multiply along with the swelling ranks of Slayers, but that's what was happening. Evil was fighting back.

By the time she was twenty, she'd been tapped by the Council to participate in their mentoring program. When she was twenty-three, they sent her to New York. It had always been a hub for evil activity, of course, but now the frequency and severity of events was getting exponentially worse.

So she was in the city when music mogul Jay-z's new prodigy got onstage and broke her mike into too many bits to count.

According to the Council's report, the girl had just laughed. "She will require a strong hand and strict training," the report said. "Caution is recommended with her mentor as his participation in the Council's efforts to establish a United States base is integral to the program."

Beyoncé didn't think her style counted as strict, but the Council had been a little kiss-ass since she'd threatened to personally punch holes in the fuel tanks of every single one of their planes, so she didn't bother pointing out that discrepancy to them.

Her main problem, then, wasn't getting to the girl. It was her new Watcher.

To his credit, Kanye was a nice guy. He was very earnest and passionate about what he did. But he was incredibly defensive of her, and instead of offering her criticism on her training methods, he tended to stand on top of the balance beam and clap. It was very affirming, but not all that useful.

And as it turned out, he was also somewhat obsessed with Jay-z – for values of "somewhat" that translated to "off the charts and in the stars somewhere".

"Look," Beyoncé said the fourth time he got glassy-eyed and started swaying, "I like the guy's music too, but he's -" arrogant, and probably dangerous – "someone we're going to have to deal with in a professional context, so calm down, okay? I've seen ten apocalypses and you're scaring me a little."

"I'm going to sit at the same table as Jay-z," Kanye said. "We're going to be best friends. What should I wear? Think he'll give me a record deal, or will he just keep me around to rap at him all the time? I should bring a sword, shouldn't I? I bet he'll like a sword. Will you catch me a pet demon? I bet that would impress the shit out of him."