Reflection as an English Major

           When I started in the Fall of 2013, I was still trying to figure out my reason for going to college. I transferred in from Francis Marion University. I had originally gone there to get a degree in Pharmacy, but instead I found myself searching for another passion. Reading. Writing. Something that became a passion for me when I was a little girl. So, I followed my heart and I started to lean into writing and reading. I slowly chose English as my major and a minor in Creative Writing. Once those were in place, everything seemed to fall into order. I started to learn things about authors I never dreamt of being taught. The histories behind what they wrote about and the reasons as to why certain themes became a thread in all these works like, alcoholism and depression. Such sadness that kept me wanting to read more and more. From Charles Dickens to Faulkner it was like reaching for the stars.

           My writing style was a struggle. When wrote about all these amazing works and authors, I struggled with tying them into my own ideas. I had a hard time organizing my thoughts and my reasons for writing about the topic I chose. Even though I read the book and loved it, I just couldn’t find my own voice. Professor Hamelman helped me grow from taking him in English 205 and American Literature. His knowledge and inspiration for reading these amazing works of art gave me my own voice. It progressed very slowly, but Professor Hamelman pushed me. He made me realize that my voice mattered, and to write about something that I was passionate about made all the difference. In English 205, we read about working class. One story stands out to me the most, and that is “Bartleby the Scrivener.” When he started this story, his excitement for it brought out an excitement in me. The story was more interesting, and the knowledge that Professor Hamelman had given to the class for better understanding was beyond magnificent. I learned so much from his classes than I had ever learned in another English class, and I believe it was his excitement for the class that promoted my knowledge. My writing for this class was only the beginning. I worked very hard to formulate a thesis and to gain clarity as to what I was writing. My ideas became scattered at first, but I slowly grasped the ideas into a more organized piece. Professor Hamelman helped me become more structured with my ideas by getting to the point.

           In American Literature, Professor Hamelman made me that much better. My writing became stronger, and more unique. I was able to get my thoughts down and grow from the first class I had with him. I wrote a fantastic paper on the topic noir. I remember that strongly because it was my first piece of writing that I received a very good grade. I was to the point and never missed a beat. But he wasn’t the only professor that helped me gain perspectives on my writing style. He was just the first that made me realize what it was that I was capable of doing.

           Professor Richardson taught me about my voice. She helped me see that I should lean into what I know and what I love. My voice grew from the Fall semester of 2013 to the Fall semester of 2015, when I realized that I could be creative. Fiction was the hardest writing topic for me. I wanted to write a romance story, but I was more of a Non-Fiction writer due to the fact that I loved telling stories about what I had gone through in my life to better someone else’s life that had gone through similar things, that taking on Fiction was extremely different. That meant taking on new things that I couldn’t quite figure out. Professor Richardson helped me gain an insight into Fiction that transformed my writing style and voice into something that made me surprised that it came out of me. Professor Richardson used writing conventions that made us think. We would have to write a story based on a couple words we were given and let it become a story. Whether it had become a short story or a novel was yet to be discovered, but as long as we were writing every day, it would help our writing styles and voices. I know that Professor Richardson has helped transform my creative writing voice and style with a couple of semesters with her.

           In Creative Writing for Poetry, I had doubts. Professor Hensel changed my mind about poetry itself, which I had not written since high school. What I didn’t understand was how to even write a basic poem with different techniques, but with him there to teach me, I learned something new every day. I learned to enjoy the unfamiliar. I learned that the structure of language in poetry is arbitrary because you can create anything you want just as long as you write towards danger. The poetry I tried writing was so peachy and clean with no ounce of danger in it, and I was always told by Professor Hensel that I needed to “write towards danger” because that will help me create the best poem possible, whether you get it on the first try or not. I had it in me, but I still wrote towards love. During the Spring semester of 2015, I fought myself writing poetry more than I did when I leaned into it. When I finally leaned into writing the unfamiliar and “wrote towards danger” I was able to create the best poem all semester, and it was titled Honeysuckle. I learned so much in one semester of poetry than I had when I tried to avoid it out of fear. Professor Hensel helped me come out of my shell with my writing and I finally found my voice, and writing style.

           So many Professors’ in the English program have helped me find a writing style and a voice, but never had I truly learned to love the unfamiliar and the danger until I was taught it. I love reading, but reading a book from Victorian Literature like “Oliver Twist” by Charles Dickens or a book from American Literature like “The Sound and the Fury” by William Faulkner makes a person in awe of the author. I learned to appreciate the analyses that I broke down and I also learned to love my own voice and ideas from each reading. Being an English major has really helped me grow as a writer and a reader, as well as academically and personally. I found myself in this major learning something unfamiliar and new every day, but sometimes it was the familiar that I had to open myself up with the different possibilities that could aid in the development of a different analysis or ideas. What makes this major so unique is the way I can speak my mind freely and open up my own opinions about a novel or author no matter who I was around. Being able to think in a more critical lens has helped me find my voice and ideas; and has helped me frame my own unique writing style for the future development that I may have.