Why love reality television?
When disability representation is properly enacted on a show of this kind, it contradicts the long-perpetuated narrative about the asexuality of those with disabilities. Women with disabilities may deviate from culturally normative definitions of archetypical beauty, “leading others to perceive them as unattractive.” If these views are continually perpetuated, they are likely to permeate one’s self esteem, causing them to internalize the inaccurate negative association between disabled people and sexuality which can lead to difficulty forming bonds or relationships: “Women with disabilities are more likely than other women to remain single.” Similarly, men with disabilities, like able-bodied men, may find themselves unable to fulfill unrealistic standards of masculinity. For disabled men, the traditional masculine ideals of strength, burliness, and musculature can be hard to achieve due to common mobility issues.
Few seized upon the topic of sexual oppression like Barbara Faye Waxman, who questioned why the sexual oppression of disabled people wasn’t discussed in the same communal discourse as topics like transportation and mobility. Waxman theorized that the topic had been deemed taboo because “many disabled people feel inferior and to blame for their lack of sexual activity.” This sexual oppression has occurred as as result of able-bodied people seeking to protect and defend disabled people, patronizing them into a childlike state while discarding them as viable sexual partners. “A lack of public education and exposure to disability and sexuality” have also contributed to the stigmatization of disability and sex. Seeing disabled people in romantic and sexual situations of reality television would normalize disabled sexuality by modeling a normalized instance of disability in a sexual encounter.
Though reality love and dating television claims to sell the perfect love story, and undercurrent of sexuality is all too apparent. From the shirtless dates that occur on almost every episode of The Bachelorette (justified by a menagerie of excuses, from pool parties to mud wrestling) to the dark, enigmatic sexual void that lingers behind closed doors once contestants graduate to “The Fantasy Suite”, these television shows are rarely subtle about what they’re really selling: a commoditized and commercialized version of love prompted by skimpy clothes and good looks instead of connection and common interest. “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Reality Dating Television Programs, Attitudes Toward Sex, and Sexual Behaviors” found that these explicitly sexual television programs perpetuated “constricting and often negative messages about dating and relationships.” These hyper-sexualized, unrealistic television programs avoid representing marginalized populations and in doing so perpetuate exclusive ideas of sexual norms while simultaneously emphasizing idealistic lust-driven relationships.
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Continue on to "Chapter 1: Not Enough"