Ellen Jo Ljung reflects on the pandemic
Day 47 of Self-quarantining
Even amidst all the suffering and tragedy, there have been gifts for the two of us. We are so clearly reminded of our blessings: we are together, we connect with family and friends virtually, we shelter in place in our dream home with ample space and infinite projects, and we have found meaning and purpose in our time at home.
I would not choose this life, but I am grateful for its lessons. For the first time in my life, recovering control junkie that I am, I find myself accepting uncertainty, for uncertainty surrounds us. Whirling dervish that I’ve always been, I am learning to slow down, to meditate, to embrace silence and stillness. Our priorities are shifting: so much of what filled our days that is now gone is far less missed than expected. We need less stuff, fewer activities, less haste. We may choose to stay in this beautiful sanctuary far longer, even if it means less travel once travel becomes available, because this time has illuminated our home’s value to our quality of life.
I have always known my life has been blessed by love and opportunity. That is still true today, though the opportunities are different. I’ve always felt compelled to give back. I can still do that. Now I make masks for front line workers, continue our political activism, volunteer to facilitate webinars for my friend’s not-yet-profitable education start-up. We call our friends who are home alone. We drop off flowers to lonely friends, write our former neighbor now in a nursing home, text and call. This is not the life we were used to, but it is still a good life. I feel gratitude more often than fear. When I lose that balance, I turn to my partner to restore it. I am one of the lucky ones.
