Bodies

Liberation?

The day after I first cut all my hair off, I went to a friend's birthday party where, from across the room, a boy shouted and asked me, "Did you just break up with your boyfriend?" I had, so I could only nod. "How did you know?" I had to ask. He shrugged very intentionally and said, "Otherwise you wouldn't have cut your hair."

While everyone in the group laughed, I didn't know how to begin to explain myself. Girls can have short hair for whatever reason they want. It was stupid to assume I had a boyfriend. What if I hadn't broken up with him and just simply thought I wanted to change my hair? Girls can have whatever hair they want and be with whoever they want.

But none of these seemed adequate for what was meant to be a clever joke - not clever because it was original or funny to me in any way, but in that it simply glossed over what everyone else in the room had observed and accepted to be the norm without being made to actively think about it. The kind of comment that would've made a response on my part totally uncalled for in the moment. Totally inadequate.

I've had short hair and been with a man since. But this has become beside the point. I do feel that the cutting of hair is a liberating act, physically and sexually. I behave differently when I don't have hair to tuck behind my ears or that I can see swinging around in my peripheral vision. Yet, where does this preoccupation come from? How do I understand it? Do I want to get rid of it?

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