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• 1 media/First-edition-of-Daniel-c_30_f_6_fp_tp-2.jpg media/grunge-vintage-old-paper-background_1373-431.jpg 2019-06-02T20:08:40-07:00 The Journal 56 plain 2019-10-13T14:28:46-07:00

  While upon the island, Crusoe decides to document his work each day, the tasks he completes, and the weather conditions affecting his daily living conditions. He writes:

  And now it was that I began to keep a journal of every day’s employment; for, indeed, at first I was in too much hurry, and not only hurry as to labor, but in too much discomposure of mind; and my journal would have been full of many dull things; for example, I must have said thus:
  
  "September 30th.—After I had got to shore, and escaped drowning, instead of being thankful to God for my deliverance, having first vomited, with the great quantity of salt water which was gotten into my stomach, and recovering myself a little, I ran about the shore wringing my hands and beating my head and face, exclaiming at my misery, and crying out I was undone, undone! till, tired and faint, I was forced to lie down on the ground for repose, but durst not sleep for fear of being devoured."

  "Some days after this, and after I had been on board the ship, and got all that I could out of her, yet I could not forbear getting up to the top of a little mountain, and looking out to sea, in hopes of seeing a ship: then fancy at a vast distance I spied a sail, please myself with the hopes of it, and then, after looking steadily, till I was almost blind, lose it quite, and sit down and weep like a child, and thus increase my misery by my folly."

  But having gotten over these things in some measure, and having settled my household staff and habitation, made me a table and a chair, and all as handsome about me as I could, I began, I say, to keep my journal; of which I shall here give you the copy (though in it will be told all these particulars over again), as long as it lasted; for at last, having no more ink, I was forced to leave it off. 

  
  Listed below are the journal entries included in the text. Defoe's inclusion of the journal is one of the formal elements that Defoe uses to create a plausible fictional narrative and to create psychological depth to his protagonist by providing the reader with access to Crusoe's thoughts. The journal is also Crusoe's attempt at establishing normalcy in his foreign environment by creating a comfortable habitation with a desk and chair and establishing the habit of writing regularly. Even as Crusoe keeps the journal, however, the formal journal entires gradually become interspersed and interwoven with the rest of his recollections and narrative not bounded by the journal entry format—while I include here mainly the formal, dated entries of the journal included in Defoe's text, some of Crusoe's lengthier narrative accounts appear between these entries, but are not delineated as journal entries proper. It is interesting to consider the relationship and boundaries delineated between the narrative and these journal entries and how these different narrative styles and techniques intersect and overlap to provide a nuanced entry point into Crusoe's mind. What is cognitively different about the representation of Crusoe's thoughts in journal format versus narrative format? What are the affordances of each format, and what are their limitations? How do different methods of thinking and writing alter the way in which Crusoe processes and records events?
  
  The journal entries are pithier, favor listing over extensive detail and reflection, eliminate unnecessary words and punctuation, and require Crusoe to distill the major events of a given day into a brief description. Approaching Crusoe as a character living upon the island ostensibly penning this journal (and approaching Defoe's construction of a believable protagonist), Crusoe's journal entries are—in the spirit of viewing Crusoe as homo economicus—economical in nature, conveying thoughts and details as efficiently as possible and with the greatest use value to Crusoe while living upon the island (for record keeping purposes) and subsequently to the reader (for getting a glimpse into Crusoe's day-to-day tasks and adventures). As Crusoe becomes more comfortable with the journal format, his initially lengthy entries become shorter and more economical, often omitting punctuation in the name of brevity (See, for example, journal entries like December 24th through December 27th, detailing rain and lack thereof, or June 19th through June 26th, where he details the condition of his health while grappling with sickness). Crusoe still, however, intersperses these brief entries with longer, more in-depth narrative interludes, which eventually fade into narrative without any journal entries. This tapering off during different points of his journal process provides fluctuating narrative pacing and therefore variety to the reader. Just as one's state of mind and mood fluctuates depending on the day, the journal entries capture these vicissitudes and heighten their realism. 
  
  Crusoe keeps the journal "as long as it lasted," explaining to his reader that he eventually has to abandon the form: "for having no more ink, I was forced to leave it off." This narrative technique allows Defoe to switch from the journal format to traditional narration as the text progresses, but it also points to the material constraints Crusoe faces upon the island, which necessarily constrict his forms of record keeping and textual production. This detail also enhances narrative realism, providing a plausible limitation and explanation for why Crusoe does not continue the journal throughout the text. It also influences what Crusoe finds important and worthy of recording—as he states as his ink supplies dwindle, "A little after this, my ink began to fail me, and so I contented myself to use it more sparingly, and to write down only the most remarkable events of my life, without continuing a daily memorandum of other things." And, ultimately, Crusoe's discussion of his ink running out leads into a reflection about how all artifacts are both made possible by—and limited by—their materiality and material form. 
  
  Crusoe's journal also reveals the slipperiness of his time keeping. He mentions at several points the imperfections of his time keeping system, which includes his journal and the cross calendar that he creates in his early days upon the island. He states in his journal, for example:

  November 7.—Now it began to be settled fair weather.  The 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, and part of the 12th (for the 11th was Sunday according to my reckoning), I took wholly up to make me a chair, and with much ado brought it to a tolerable shape, but never to please me; and even in the making I pulled it in pieces several times.

  Note.—I soon neglected my keeping Sundays; for, omitting my mark for them on my post, I forgot which was which.

  
  Though the journal appears to contain objective dates and builds upon previous entries in chronological order and through sequential reasoning, Crusoe reminds the reader at multiple points of the narrative that he is sometimes unsure of the accuracy of his timekeeping. Rather than absolute figures, he qualifies these dates and methods of timekeeping as estimates based on the resources that he has access to. Elements of realism, combined with an overarching feeling of indeterminacy that hangs over the novel, ultimately creates a nuanced fictionality. 
  
  
  
  The JOURNAL
  
  September 30, 1659.—I, poor miserable Robinson Crusoe, being shipwrecked during a dreadful storm in the offing, came on shore on this dismal, unfortunate island, which I called “The Island of Despair”; all the rest of the ship’s company being drowned, and myself almost dead.

  All the rest of the day I spent in afflicting myself at the dismal circumstances I was brought to; viz., I had neither food, house, clothes, weapon, nor place to fly to; and in despair of any relief, saw nothing but death before me; either that I should be devoured by wild beasts, murdered by savages, or starved to death for want of food.  At the approach of night I slept in a tree, for fear of wild creatures; but slept soundly, though it rained all night.

  October 1.—In the morning I saw, to my great surprise, the ship had floated with the high tide, and was driven on shore again, much nearer the island; which, as it was some comfort, on one hand (for, seeing her set upright, and not broken to pieces, I hoped, if the wind abated, I might get on board, and get some food and necessaries out of her for my relief), so, on the other hand, it renewed my grief at the loss of my comrades, who, I imagined, if we had all stayed on board, might have saved the ship, or at least, that they would not have been all drowned, as they were; and that, had the men been saved, we might perhaps have built us a boat out of the ruins of the ship, to have carried us to some other part of the world.  I spent great part of this day in perplexing myself on these things; but, at length, seeing the ship almost dry, I went upon the sand as near as I could, and then swam on board.  This day also it continued raining, though with no wind at all.

  From the 1st of October to the 24th.—All these days entirely spent in many several voyages to get all I could out of the ship, which I brought on shore, every tide of flood, upon rafts.  Much rain also, in the days, though with some intervals of fair weather; but it seems this was the rainy season.

  Oct. 24.—I overset my raft, and all the goods I had got upon it; but being in shoal water, and the things being chiefly heavy, I recovered many of them when the tide was out.

  Oct. 25.—It rained all night and all day, with some gusts of wind; during which time the ship broke in pieces, the wind blowing a little harder than before, and was no more to be seen, except the wreck of her, and that only at low water.  I spent this day in covering and securing the goods which I had saved, that the rain might not spoil them.

  Oct. 26.—I walked about the shore almost all day, to find out a place to fix my habitation, greatly concerned to secure myself from any attack in the night, either from wild beasts or men.  Towards night I fixed upon a proper place, under a rock, and marked out a semicircle for my encampment, which I resolved to strengthen with a work, wall, or fortification, made of double piles, lined within with cables, and without with turf.

  From the 26th to the 30th, I worked very hard in carrying all my goods to my new habitation, though some part of the time it rained exceedingly hard.

  The 31st, in the morning, I went out into the island with my gun, to seek for some food, and discover the country; when I killed a she-goat, and her kid followed me home, which I afterwards killed also, because it would not feed.

  November 1.—I set up my tent under a rock, and lay there for the first night; making it as large as I could, with stakes driven in to swing my hammock upon.

  November 2.—I set up all my chests and boards, and the pieces of timber which made my rafts, and with them formed a fence round me, a little within the place I had marked out for my fortification.

  November 3.—I went out with my gun, and killed two fowls like ducks, which were very good food.  In the afternoon went to work to make me a table.

  November 4.—This morning I began to order my times of work, of going out with my gun, time of sleep, and time of diversion; viz., every morning I walked out with my gun for two or three hours, if it did not rain; then employed myself to work till about eleven o’clock; then eat what I had to live on; and from twelve to two I lay down to sleep, the weather being excessively hot: and then, in the evening, to work again.  The working part of this day and of the next were wholly employed in making this table, for I was yet but a very sorry workman, though time and necessity made me a complete natural mechanic soon after, as I believe they would do any one else.

  November 5.—This day went abroad with my gun and my dog, and killed a wildcat; her skin pretty soft, but her flesh good for nothing; every creature that I killed, I took of the skins and preserved them.  Coming back by the seashore, I saw many sorts of sea-fowls, which I did not understand; but was surprised, and almost frightened, with two or three seals, which, while I was gazing at, not well knowing what they were, got into the sea, and escaped me for that time.

  November 6.—After my morning walk, I went to work with my table again, and finished it, though not to my liking; nor was it long before I learned to mend it.

  November 7.—Now it began to be settled fair weather.  The 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, and part of the 12th (for the 11th was Sunday according to my reckoning), I took wholly up to make me a chair, and with much ado brought it to a tolerable shape, but never to please me; and even in the making I pulled it in pieces several times.

  Note.—I soon neglected my keeping Sundays; for, omitting my mark for them on my post, I forgot which was which.

  November 13.—This day it rained, which refreshed me exceedingly, and cooled the earth: but it was accompanied with terrible thunder and lightning, which frightened me dreadfully, for fear of my powder.  As soon as it was over, I resolved to separate my stock of powder into as many little parcels as possible, that it might not be in danger.

  November 14, 15, 16.—These three days I spent in making little square chests, or boxes, which might hold about a pound, or two pounds at most, of powder; and so, putting the powder in, I stowed it in places as secure and remote from one another as possible.  On one of these three days I killed a large bird that was good to eat, but I knew not what to call it.

  November 17.—This day I began to dig behind my tent into the rock, to make room for my further conveniency.

  Note.—Three things I wanted exceedingly for this work; viz. a pickax, a shovel, and a wheelbarrow, or basket; so I desisted from my work, and began to consider how to supply that want, and make me some tools.  As for the pickaxe, I made use of the iron crows, which were proper enough, though heavy; but the next thing was a shovel or spade; this was so absolutely necessary, that, indeed, I could do nothing effectually without it; but what kind of one to make I knew not.

  November 18.—The next day, in searching the woods, I found a tree of that wood, or like it, which in the Brazils they call the iron-tree, for its exceeding hardness.  Of this, with great labour, and almost spoiling my axe, I cut a piece, and brought it home, too, with difficulty enough, for it was exceeding heavy.  The excessive hardness of the wood, and my having no other way, made me a long while upon this machine, for I worked it effectually by little and little into the form of a shovel or spade; the handle exactly shaped like ours in England, only that the board part having no iron shod upon it at bottom, it would not last me so long; however, it served well enough for the uses which I had occasion to put it to; but never was a shovel, I believe, made after that fashion, or so long making.

  I was still deficient, for I wanted a basket, or a wheelbarrow.  A basket I could not make by any means, having no such things as twigs that would bend to make wicker-ware—at least, none yet found out; and as to the wheelbarrow, I fancied I could make all but the wheel; but that I had no notion of; neither did I know how to go about it; besides, I had no possible way to make the iron gudgeons for the spindle or axis of the wheel to run in; so I gave it over, and so, for carrying away the earth which I dug out of the cave, I made me a thing like a hod, which the laborers carry mortar in, when they serve the bricklayers.  This was not so difficult to me as the making of the shovel: and yet this and the shovel, and the attempt which I made in vain to make a wheelbarrow, took me up no less than four days, I mean always excepting my morning's walk with my gun, which I seldom failed, and very seldom failed also bringing home something fit to eat.

  November 23.—My other work having stood still, because of my making these tools, when they were finished I went on, and working every day, as my strength and time allowed, I spent eighteen days entirely in widening and deepening my cave, that it might hold my goods commodiously.

  Note.—During all this time I worked to make this room or cave spacious enough to accommodate me as a warehouse, or magazine, a kitchen, a dining-room, and a cellar.  As for a lodging, I kept to the tent; except that sometimes, in the wet season of the year, it rained so hard that I could not keep myself dry, which caused me afterwards to cover all my place within my pale with long poles, in the form of rafters, leaning against the rock, and load them with flags and large leaves of trees, like a thatch.

  December 10.—I began now to think my cave or vault finished, when on a sudden (it seems I had made it too large) a great quantity of earth fell down from the top on one side; so much that, in short, it frighted me, and not without reason, too; for if I had been under it, I had never wanted a grave-digger. Upon this disaster I had a great deal of work to do over again, for I had the loose earth to carry out; and, which was of more importance, I had the ceiling to prop up, so that I might be sure no more would come down.

  December 11.—This day I went to work with it accordingly, and got two shores or posts pitched upright to the top, with two pieces of board across over each post; this I finished the next day, and setting more posts up with boards, in about a week more I had the roof secured; and the posts, standing in rows, served me for partitions to part off my house.

  December 17.—From this day to the 20th I placed shelves, and knocked up nails on the posts, to hang everything up that could be hung up; and now I began to be in some order within doors.

  December 20.—Now I carried everything into the cave, and began to furnish my house, and set up some pieces of board like a dresser, to order my victuals upon; but board began to be very scarce with me; also I made me another table.

  December 24.—Much rain all night and all day; no stirring out.

  December 25.—Rain all day.

  December 26.—No rain, and the earth much cooler than before, and pleasanter.

  December 27.—Killed a young goat, and lamed another, so that I caught it and led it home in a string; when I had it at home, I bound and splintered up its leg, which was broke.

  N.B.—I took such care of it that it lived, and the leg grew well and as strong as ever; but by my nursing it so long, it grew tame and fed upon the little green at my door, and would not go away.  This was the first time that I entertained a thought of breeding up some tame creatures, that I might have food when my powder and shot were all spent.

  December 28, 29, 30, 31.—Great heats and no breeze, so that there was no stirring abroad, except in the evening, for food; this time I spent in putting all my things in order within doors.

  January 1.—Very hot still: but I went abroad early and late with my gun, and lay still in the middle of the day.  This evening, going farther into the valleys which lay towards the center of the island, I found there was plenty of goats, though exceedingly shy, and hard to come at; however, I resolved to try if I could not bring my dog to hunt them down.

  January 2.—Accordingly, the next day, I went out with my dog, and set him upon the goats; but I was mistaken, for they all faced about upon the dog, and he knew his danger too well, for he would not come near them.

  January  3.—I began my fence, or wall; which, being still jealous of my being attacked by somebody, I resolved to make very thick and strong.

  N.B.—This wall being described before, I purposely omit what was said in the journal; it is sufficient to observe, that I was no less time than from the 2nd of January to the 14th of April working, finishing, and perfecting this wall, though it was no more than about twenty-four yards in length, being a half-circle from one place in the rock to another place, about eight yards from it, the door of the cave being in the centre behind it.
  
  But to return to my Journal:

  April 16.—I finished the ladder; so I went up the ladder to the top, and then pulled it up after me, and let it down in the inside: this was a complete inclosure to me; for within I had room enough, and nothing could come at me from without, unless it could first mount my wall.

  April 22.—The next morning I begin to consider of means to put this resolve in execution; but I was at a great loss about my tools.  I had three large axes, and abundance of hatchets (for we carried the hatchets for traffic with the Indians), but with much chopping and cutting knotty hard wood, they were all full of notches, and dull; and though I had a grindstone, I could not turn it and grind my tools too.  This cost me as much thought as a statesman would have bestowed upon a grand point of politics, or a judge upon the life and death of a man.  At length, I contrived a wheel with a string, to turn it with my foot, that I might have both my hands at liberty.  
  
  Note.—I had never seen any such thing in England, or at least not to take notice how it was done, though since I have observed it was very common there; besides that, my grindstone was very large and heavy.  This machine cost me a full week’s work to bring it to perfection.

  April 28, 29.—These two whole days I took up in grinding my tools, my machine for turning my grindstone performing very well.

  April 30.—Having perceived my bread had been low a great while, now I took a survey of it, and reduced myself to one biscuit cake a day, which made my heart very heavy.

  May 1.—In the morning, looking towards the seaside, the tide being low, I saw something lie on the shore bigger than ordinary, and it looked like a cask; when I came to it, I found a small barrel, and two or three pieces of the wreck of the ship, which were driven on shore by the late hurricane; and looking towards the wreck itself, I thought it seemed to lie higher out of the water than it used to do.  I examined the barrel which was driven on shore, and soon found it was a barrel of gunpowder; but it had taken water, and the powder was caked as hard as a stone; however, I rolled it farther on shore for the present, and went on upon the sand, as near as I could to the wreck of the ship, to look for more.
  
  When I came down to the ship I found it strangely removed.  The forecastle, which lay before buried in sand, was heaved up at least six feet, and the stern, which was broke in pieces and parted from the rest by the force of the sea soon after I had left rummaging her, was tossed, as it were, up, and cast on one side; and the sand was thrown so high on that side next her stern, that whereas there was a great place of water before, so that I could not come within a quarter of a mile of the wreck without swimming, I could now walk quite up to her when the tide was out.  I was surprised with this at first, but soon concluded it must be done by the earthquake; and as by this violence the ship was more broken open than formerly, so many things came daily on shore, which the sea had loosened, and which the winds and water rolled by degrees to the land.

  This wholly diverted my thoughts from the design of removing my habitation, and I busied myself mightily, that day especially, in searching whether I could make any way into the ship; but I found nothing was to be expected of that kind, for all the inside of the ship was choked up with sand.  However, as I had learned not to despair of anything, I resolved to pull everything to pieces that I could of the ship, concluding that everything I could get from her would be of some use or other to me.

  May 3.—I began with my saw, and cut a piece of a beam through, which held some of the upper part or quarterdeck together, and when I had cut it through, I cleared away the sand as well as I could from the side which lay highest and was quite out of the water; but the tide coming in, I was obliged to give over for that time.

  May 4.—I went a-fishing, but caught not one fish that I durst eat of, till I was weary of my sport; when, just going to leave off, I caught a young dolphin.  I had made me a long line of some rope-yarn, but I had no hooks; yet I frequently caught fish enough, as much as I cared to eat; all which I dried in the sun, and ate them dry.

  May 5.—Worked on the wreck; cut another beam asunder, and brought three great fir planks off from the decks, which I tied together, and made to swim on shore when the tide of flood came on.

  May 6.—Worked on the wreck; got several iron bolts out of her and other pieces of ironwork; worked very hard, and came home very much tired and had thoughts of giving it over.

  May 7.—Went to the wreck again, with an intent not to work, but found the weight of the wreck had broken itself down, the beams being cut; that several pieces of the ship seemed to lie loose, and the inside of the hold lay so open that I could see into it; but it was almost full of water and sand.

  May 8.—Went to the wreck, and carried an iron crow to wrench up the deck, which lay now quite clear of the water or sand.  I wrenched open two planks, and brought them on shore also with the tide.  I left the iron crow in the wreck for next day.

  May 9.—Went to the wreck, and with the crow made way into the body of the wreck, and felt several casks, and loosened them with the crow, but could not break them up.  I felt also a roll of English lead, and could stir it, but it was too heavy to remove.

  May 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.—Went every day to the wreck; and got a great many pieces of timber, and boards, or planks, and two or three hundred weight of iron.

  May 15.—I carried two hatchets, to try if I could not cut a piece off the roll of lead by placing the edge of one hatchet, and driving it with the other; but as it lay about a foot and a half in the water, I could not make any blow to drive the hatchet.

  May 16.—It had blown hard in the night, and the wreck appeared more broken by the force of the water; but I stayed so long in the woods, to get pigeons for food, that the tide prevented my going to the wreck that day.

  May 17.—I saw some pieces of the wreck blown on shore, at a great distance, near two miles off me, but resolved to see what they were, and found they were pieces of the head, but too heavy for me to bring away.

  May 24.—Every day, to this day, I worked on the wreck; and with hard labour I loosened some things so much with the crow that the first flowing tide several casks floated out, and two of the seamen’s chests; but the wind blowing from the shore nothing came to land that day but pieces of timber, and a hogshead which had some Brazil pork in it; but the salt water and the sand had spoiled it.  I continued this work every day to the 15th of June, except the time necessary to get food, which I always appointed, during this part of my employment, to be when the tide was up, that I might be ready when it was ebbed out; and by this time I had gotten timber and plank and iron-work enough to have built a good boat, if I had known how; and also I got, at several times, and in several pieces, near one hundredweight of the sheet lead.

  June 16.—Going down to the seaside, I found a large tortoise, or turtle.  This was the first I had seen, which, it seems, was only my misfortune, not any defect of the place or the scarcity; for had I happened to be on the other side of the island, I might have had hundreds of them every day, as I found afterwards; but perhaps had paid dear enough for them.

  June 17.—I spent in cooking the turtle.  I found in her threescore eggs; and her flesh was to me, at that time, the most savoury and pleasant that ever I tasted in my life, having had no flesh, but of goats and fowls, since I landed in this horrible place.

  June 18.—Rained all the day, and I stayed within.  I thought, at this time, the rain felt cold, and I was somewhat chilly, which I knew was not usual in that latitude.

  June 19.—Very ill, and shivering, as if the weather had been cold.

  June 20.—No rest all night; violent pains in my head, and feverish.

  June 21.—Very ill; frighted almost to death with the apprehensions of my sad condition—to be sick, and no help: prayed to God, for the first time since the storm off Hull, but scarce knew what I said or why; my thoughts being all confused.

  June 22.—A little better; but under dreadful apprehensions of sickness.

  June 23.—Very bad again; cold and shivering, and then a violent headache.

  June 24.—Much better.

  June 25.—An ague very violent; the fit held me seven hours; cold fit, and hot with faint sweats after it.

  June 26.—Better; and having no victuals to eat, took my gun, but found myself very weak; however, I killed a she-goat, and with much difficulty got it home, and broiled some of it, and ate. I would fain have stewed it, and made some broth, but had no pot.

  June 27.—The ague again so violent that I lay a-bed all day, and neither ate nor drank.  I was ready to perish for thirst; but so weak I had not strength to stand up, or to get myself any water to drink.  Prayed to God again, but was light-headed; and when I was not, I was so ignorant that I knew not what to say; only I lay and cried, “Lord, look upon me!  Lord, pity me!  Lord, have mercy upon me!”  I suppose I did nothing else for two or three hours; till the fit wearing off, I fell asleep, and did not wake till far in the night.  When I awoke, I found myself much refreshed, but weak, and exceeding thirsty; however, as I had no water in my habitation, I was forced to lie till morning, and went to sleep again.  In this second sleep I had this terrible dream: I thought that I was sitting on the ground, on the outside of my wall, where I sat when the storm blew after the earthquake, and that I saw a man descend from a great black cloud, in a bright flame of fire, and light upon the ground: he was all over as bright as a flame, so that I could but just bear to look towards him; his countenance was most inexpressibly dreadful, impossible for words to describe; when he stepped upon the ground with his feet, I thought the earth trembled, just as it had done before in the earthquake, and all the air looked, to my apprehension, as if it had been filled with flashes of fire.  He was no sooner landed upon the earth, but he moved forward towards me with a long spear or weapon in his hand to kill me; and when he came to a rising ground, at some distance, he spoke to me—or I heard a voice so terrible that it is impossible to express the terror of it.  All that I can say I understood was this:—“Seeing all these things have not brought thee to repentance now thou shalt die”; at which words, I thought he lifted up the spear that was in his hand to kill me...
  
  June 28.—Having been somewhat refreshed with the sleep I had had, and the fit being entirely off, I got up; and though the fright and terror of my dream was very great, yet I considered that the fit of the ague would return again the next day, and now was my time to get something to refresh and support myself when I should be ill; and the first thing I did, I filled a large square case-bottle with water, and set it upon my table, in reach of my bed; and to take off the chill or aguish disposition of the water, I put about a quarter of a pint of rum into it, and mixed them together.  Then I got me a piece of the goat’s flesh, and broiled it on the coals, but could eat very little; I walked about, but was very weak, and withal very sad and heavy-hearted under a sense of my miserable condition, dreading the return of my distemper the next day.  At night, I made my supper of three of the turtle’s eggs, which I roasted in the ashes, and ate, as we call it, in the shell, and this was the first bit of meat I had ever asked God’s blessing to, even as I could remember, in my whole life. 
  
  After I had eaten, I tried to walk, but found myself so weak that I could hardly carry the gun, for I never went out without that; so I went but a little way, and sat down upon the ground, looking out upon the sea, which was just before me, and very calm and smooth.  As I sat here, some such thoughts as these occurred to me: What is the earth and sea, of which I have seen so much?  Whence is it produced?  And what am I, and all the other creatures wild and tame, human and brutal?  Whence are we?  Sure we are all made by some secret Power, who formed the earth and sea, the air and sky.  And who is that?  Then it followed most naturally, It is God that has made all.  Well, but then, it came on strongly, if God has made all these things, he guides and governs them all, and all things that concern them; for the Being that could make all things must certainly have power to guide and direct them.  If so, nothing can happen in the great circuit of his works, either without his knowledge or appointment...
  
  July 2.—I renewed the medicine all the three ways; and dosed myself with it as at first, and doubled the quantity which I drank.

  July 3.—I missed the fit for good and all, though I did not recover my full strength for some weeks after.  While I was thus gathering strength, my thoughts ran exceedingly upon this Scripture, “I will deliver thee”; and the impossibility of my deliverance lay much upon my mind, in bar of my ever expecting it; but as I was discouraging myself with such thoughts, it occurred to my mind that I pored so much upon my deliverance from the main affliction that I disregarded the deliverance I had received, and I was, as it were, made to ask myself such questions as these, viz., Have I not been delivered, and wonderfully too, from sickness? from the most distressed condition that could be, and that was so frightful to me? and what notice had I taken of it?  Had I done my part?  God had delivered me, but I had not glorified him; that is to say, I had not owned and been thankful for that as a deliverance; and how could I expect greater deliverance?  This touched my heart very much; and immediately I kneeled down and gave God thanks aloud for my recovery from my sickness.

  July 4.—In the morning I took the Bible; and beginning at the New Testament, I began seriously to read it, and imposed upon myself to read a while every morning and every night; not tying myself to the number of chapters, but long as my thoughts should engage me.  It was not long after I set seriously to this work till I found my heart more deeply and sincerely affected with the wickedness of my past life.  The impression of my dream revived; and the words, “All these things have not brought thee to repentance,” ran seriously in my thoughts.  I was earnestly begging of God to give me repentance, when it happened providentially, the very day, that, reading the Scripture, I came to these words: “He is exalted a Prince and a Saviour, to give repentance and to give remission.”  I threw down the book; and with my heart as well as my hands lifted up to heaven, in a kind of ecstasy of joy, I cried out aloud, “Jesus, thou son of David!  Jesus, thou exalted Prince and Saviour! give me repentance!”  This was the first time I could say, in the true sense of the words, that I prayed in all my life; for now I prayed with a sense of my condition, and a true Scripture view of hope, founded on the encouragement of the Word of God; and from this time, I may say, I began to have hope that God would hear me.
  
  Sept. 30.—I was now come to the unhappy anniversary of my landing.  I cast up the notches on my post, and found I had been on shore three hundred and sixty-five days.  I kept this day as a solemn fast, setting it apart for religious exercise, prostrating myself on the ground with the most serious humiliation, confessing my sins to God, acknowledging his righteous judgments upon me, and praying to him to have mercy on me through Jesus Christ; and not having tasted the least refreshment for twelve hours, even till the going down of the sun, I then ate a biscuit-cake and a bunch of grapes, and went to bed, finishing the day as I began it.  I had all this time observed no Sabbath-day; for as at first I had no sense of religion upon my mind, I had, after some time, omitted to distinguish the weeks, by making a longer notch than ordinary for the Sabbath day, and so did not really know what any of the days were; but now, having cast up the days as above, I found I had been there a year: so I divided it into weeks, and set apart every seventh day for a Sabbath; though I found at the end of my account I had lost a day or two in my reckoning.  A little after this, my ink began to fail me, and so I contented myself to use it more sparingly, and to write down only the most remarkable events of my life, without continuing a daily memorandum of other things.