Prologue and Opening Monologue

Preshow

Pre-show music plays as audience enters. On the PROJECTION SCREEN there is a title graphic for “Rock Out with Your [nose graphic] Out” with a TV-MA warning on top right, with appropriate warning (sexual situations, graphic language).

Scene I: Opening Monologue

Setting is a live taping of a variety/comedy show, with the audience as the “studio audience.” There is a small section SL with the HOUSE BAND’s instruments, plus two mannequins with ALPHA and DELTA patches. One of the mannequins is wearing the KARIN-ZELLE wig. There is a sign labelling the area: “Unfulfilled ideas and Characters Out Sick”

LX: Up with MUSIC on OMICRON leading the cast (minus TRISTAN and JUSTINE) in an opening dance number.

TRISTAN
Hello, hello! And welcome, I’m your host, Tristan Goudreaux

JUSTINE
And I’M your host, Justine Goudreaux, (asside) no relation,

TRISTAN
And welcome to Rock Out with Your (SFX: Bleep) Out! A special COVID anniversary show,

JUSTINE
Not that we want to celebrate COVID, but rather CELEBRATE that we have finally learned to live with it!

TRISTAN
We have all been through a lot in the last . . . (has to think for a moment) three years? That can’t be right,

JUSTINE
Thirteen years? (Pause) Thirty years?

TRISTAN
and back. From lock downs to internet outages, unemployment and work-from-home,

JUSTINE
Spending our holidays on Zoom and attending class in our pajamas,

TRISTAN
The pandemic has been an experience I don’t think any of us will want to ride again.

JUSTINE
We’ve watched the price of toilet paper rise and fall,

TRISTAN
Learned how to make bread from scratch,

JUSTINE
And given into the omnipresent delivery arm of Jeff Bezos. Some of us have discovered we like being alone,

TRISTAN
While some of us couldn’t wait to hug and kiss all our friends again,

JUSTINE
And some of us have cats.

TRISTAN
COVID-19 is the event of this generation. A collective experience that brought the world together/

JUSTINE
(Interrupting) Sort of/

TRISTAN
(Cuts back in) And for a brief moment showed us what could be done about climate change if we all just stopped driving.

JUSTINE
The pandemic proved that Americans really can’t work together,

TRISTAN
That toilet paper is gold,

JUSTINE
And the people who sell it are expendable.

TRISTAN
But not everything was a bust. The pandemic brought people together all over the world in a way that was never before possible through Zoom, (Tristan’s face starts to twitch, his NOSE getting annoyed) allowing for greater access to . . . (he gets it under control) those stuck at home, showing the world that we can work from home, learn from home, and do numerous other tasks from home.

JUSTINE
As we look back on what will soon be a distant memory, a time that many of us have tried to forget, (TRISTAN is visible struggling with his NOSE) let’s think of the little things, (looks over at TRISTAN who is supposed to cut in) . . . the trials and the joys (looks over again) . . . the laughter and the . . . laughter . . .

Nose swings around and begins a tug-o-war with TRISTAN, attempting to break free. NOSE stops, looks at TRISTAN and then looks at the AUDIENCE,

THE NOSE
(Singing) I Want to Break Free!

UNPAID INTERN is at the drums. As THE NOSE finishes their one and only line in the show, she starts the drum beat to “I Want to Break Free” by QUEEN, which underscores the rest of the scene. UNPAID INTERN is thoroughly immersed in the music, headbanging.

JUSTINE tries to subtlety motion to UNPAID INTERN to cut the music and lights, and when she does not respond JUSTINE rushes over to her to get her attention.

As THE NOSE finally breaks free, does a little happy dance and a leap of joy, and runs into the audience.

UNPAID INTERN finally notices JUSTINE, stops drumming and rushes to the side LX light switches and with an exaggerated motion, signals to TECH BOOTH to “cut” LX. LX OUT abruptly with this motion.