Jessica Joudy
7
Reflection on embodiment and materiality
plain
2020-12-09T17:41:52-08:00
37.351852,-121.9434402
11/22/2020
...And here, if we take a right turn into California, we can see one Jessica Joudy, in her natural habitat. Observe the many, many colorful pens (only a fraction of the true collection), and just how many sticky notes are next to the laptop. Also observe the planner with more colorful pens, in which I plan my entire life. Further observe the class schedule taped to the wall and realize that I am someone who likes to plan things out as much as possible. I've got a little drink coaster next to my sticky note stack, and that's because I usually have a cup of tea next to me whenever I work. It's not with me now, because I didn't stage the photo much at all. In fact, the only thing I changed from my in-and-out, day-to-day workspace is that I removed the small but steadily growing group of chargers and headphones I had lying about. I bring all that planning and slight clutter and love of colorful stationary with me whenever I work on this anthology.
I probably look a little uncomfortable in this photo (or at least, I feel like I do), and that's because I am. It took me about 20 photos before I found one I kind of liked. I am usually hyperaware of my body and how it looks and how I might be judged for it, and having any photo taken of me only heightens that uncomfortable awareness. This class and this anthology has asked me to be even more hyperaware of my body than usual, to reflect on my self as embodied in this outward physical form, which is something that I, a person with multiple chronic illnesses, generally hate doing. That's also something I don't like to talk about much either. But working on this anthology and reflecting on my body as a part of my identity, and all the ways that it feels strange for me to think of my mind/identity, and body as something that works together instead of as opposing forces, that's something that I am bringing to this anthology to. My working on being a little more vulnerable about this kind of stuff is something else that this anthology project has facilitated too, and it definitely affects my reflections on my various more 'traditionally discussed' identities.
