Me-an-ing Mac-hi-nas

(dis)order

i am falling
falling
failing
into a not-sure-what
into an indefinable
into a this-and-that
something
i try to fit one piece into the other
but
the more i try
to rationalize
lies
my heart
cannot take
it just is.
this is where
i decide
to be.
not this
not that
just
b
w/
u
 
i
turned
into
 
punctuation
punctu ate me
n now
i m
an
!
a
,
a
.
all at once
 
i m
 
not
 
this
 
not that
 
then u came
 
;
 
u
 
r
the
.
i m
the
,
 
together
;
 
disorder
ordered