Tracing Self-Narrative: self expression in social media
The posts listed above are from a range of tweets/X posts that MarShawn McCarrel posted over a span of three days. He shares his favorite music, makes reference to his work in activism, and talks about a recent dream of his. There is no singular narrative expressed through his posts, which is an overarching feature of his social media. Instead of utilizing his online presence to platform his activism or community work, or primarily as an outlet for self-expression—McCarrel integrates various facets of himself into his posts, and his self-narrative ultimately emerges as a mosaic of snapshots into his day-to-day life: his thoughts, his emotions, where he is and where he wants to be—figuratively and literally.
There is no single characterization of MarShawn’s self-narrative—just as there is no single characterization of MarShawn himself. I recognize this in regard to my own efforts to describe his self-presentation, but I hope that my objectives are clear as I try to capture and convey what I conceive of as distinctive fragments of his personhood.
MarShawn’s primary forms of social media were his Facebook, Twitter, and his Instagram (which is no longer accessible). His Facebook and Twitter feature similar content in terms of his inclusion of humor, life updates, and creative writing. The only real difference is that he was able to post more detailed, long-form content about Pursuing Our Dreams events and posts related to his social activism to his Facebook account.
MarShawn also infused such posts with his reflections and opinions, which occasionally gave some indication of the difficulties he was facing associated with the social justice he engaged with.
“Thankful for my team. Want them and our future teammates to know that we were chosen to do the work we do. This isn’t for everybody.” Twitter/X Apr 23, 2015
“I just wanna help people. But people make it so hard sometimes.” Facebook Oct 16, 2015
February 8, 2016
The days leading up to MarShawn's suicide are marked by posts containing increasingly despondent language. Although, in keeping with the structure of his earlier posts, these bleaker messages are intermixed with his philosophical meditations and community service announcements.
On Februrary 6, Marshawn tweeted that, "I still have nightmares in paradise" and "I never wanted much. Just peace and to make y'all proud." On the same day, he wrote a post on Facebook that read, "We waste so much time not loving each other", in tandem with another post including a photo of him from the NAACP Image Awards where he received the distinction of "Hometown Champion."
Prior to this photo, MarShawn had been posting almost daily to his Facebook throughout the month of January about his nomination and urging people to vote. He also posted about an upcoming Feed the Streets event hosted by POD, which was set to be held February 20th. In highlighting these final messages MarShawn articulated to his social media, I am trying to reaffirm the impossibility of limiting his story to one interpretation. His posts seem incongruous, but it is evident that MarShawn was trying to impart his thoughts, before closing his self-narrative with an apology.
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- The Ferguson Conspiracy Sidra Arshad