Effects on Victim
As represented through Kaur’s poetry, victims of sexual assault face feelings of guilt, shame, terror, confusion, and a long list of others on a daily basis. Some eventually reach a point of forgiveness, not to justify the actions of the perpetrator, but to bring themselves to a point of peace. When a victim forgives their perpetrator, does that mean society should, as well? What is forgiveness doing for rape culture and its normalization?
Examples of victim blaming range from friends’ reactions to that of the judge (if the case ends up being reported at all; sometimes victim blaming makes the victim believe they really did deserve it and the perpetrator is not in the wrong). Rhode writes, “Our principle problem is not that we exaggerate the problem and demonize men, but that we so often deny the problem and blame women” (120). Claiming that victims should have been more conscious of their outfits, been more aware of how much alcohol or drugs they consumed, or even the fact they may not have directly said “no” or tried to fight back are arguments often made in order to prevent the conviction of perpetrators; however, they are weak and irrelevant claims. Rather than focusing on what women can do to avoid being raped, the social goal should be to prevent rapists from raping: “Many discussions seem to lose sight of the fact that it is overwhelmingly men who rape and men need to stop. Only by addressing these broader cultural patterns are we likely to make life safer for women” (128).
Living in a society that values the motives of perpetrators over the trauma of victims is unsafe and unfair. Luckily, today’s culture seems to be (slowly but surely) advancing to a more unforgiving environment when it comes to those who commit sexual assault. Privileged figures in the media and politics are being taken down once allegations are made towards them. However, there is still a significant amount of skepticism about sexual assault accusations that needs to be addressed.
As Rhode asks, “Why are we so judgmental about the women who want to feel safe instead of about the men who make it impossible?” (124). Living in a man’s world is a daily struggle for women. Even if not faced directly with issues such as the wage gap, there is an overarching conception of women and their weakness that ultimately makes them easy to objectify; this objectification leads to ways of thinking that encourage victim blaming and the normalization of rape culture. Through the strength the world is witnessing in victims today, though, this normalization is being destructed and it is evident in Kaur’s poetry, as well as other contemporary works.