In conceiving daddylabyrinth I intended to take home videos of myself while drunk so I could talk more earnestly about alcohol. But almost a decade ago, I found myself able to get drunk. Just couldn't do it anymore. Wouldn't let myself. 

Then came my fiftieth birthday, when I got drunk at last and shot this shameful bit of video on my phone. It's weird to watch it (not merely because of the loathsome braces, which you may notice). The person onscreen seems quite jocular about his state of being, while I look back at it and think:

You'd better wait another fifty years to get that drunk, because you look pathetic.