Sexual assault in the danger zone

Raquel Ramirez talks tough, just like a warrior. She describes her deployment in Kabul three years ago like a soldier in any military, dutifully in a matter-of-fact way, no emotions or criticism attached. Even when explaining the sexual assault she suffered, she seems to put the camaraderie of the military and the tough, “don’t complain” attitude before her own feelings. 

Raquel was sexually assaulted in Afghanistan by a soldier she used to trust. She did not report the case, because she didn't want to blow the whistle on a male colleague. Many female soldiers stay silent about abuse in the military, because of the fear of being stigmatized and isolated from the group if they accuse another soldier in the male-dominated military community. 

"I didn't feel like being the one to ruin his career. He has a family and children," Raquel says. She did come forward when the same soldier assaulted another female, but withdrew her statement from the investigation at the last minute, not wanting to be one to accuse another soldier. She faced criticism now from the supporters of the other raped woman. She felt she was alone.

Raquel Ramirez guarded gates and visited safe houses as a military policewoman in Kabul. Since there are no frontlines in the war, there is a risk of a mortar or other attack everywhere for U.S. military personnel. Raquel's position as a guard was very vulnerable to attack. She got to know Iraqis in her duty, and she remembers them fondly.

She had another risky role as an assistant gunner. She would be stationed close to the main gunner and take over if the gunner was injured. She was assigned to this duty once during her year.

But the war can numb a soldier's mind from fear. For Raquel dealing with fearful situations was not new. She had already experienced such things in her teenage years. First she remembers the overwhelming heat under the heavy uniform. “By the time I got to my formation I was sweating in places I didn't think humans can sweat,” she smiles. 

She remembers how daily gunshots and sirens warning of a possible mortar attack became normal. Explosions were an everyday background sound. But Raquel is clear that she did not feel that she was in harm's way during her tour of duty. But trauma is often delayed. Her dangerous work in the past is taking its toll in the present.