This interpretation of "Mad Girl's Love Song" by Sylvia Plath is joined by a string of fragmented narration. Aiming to create the same fragmentation of its format in an emotional response from the audience, the piece offers a wide array of sounds and memory associations. Ultimately, the video makes allusions to the prosecution of a rape or sexual violence charge — wherein a woman's story is not unanimously believed.
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Transcript for "Mad Girl's Love Song" by Sylvia Plath, an Audio Artwork
"Mad Girl’s love song by Sylvia Plath
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead (dead, dead);
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade (bird noises):
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead (bird noises);
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
Song:
“I don’t remember” X 2
“I do”
“The defendant has posted bail”
“Is she lying?”
“What did it feel like?”
“Can I rewind to what wasn’t there?”
“All these voices being said… pleads insanity”
“Who… Who?”
“You have to remember”
“Boys will be boys”
“She pleads reality. She pleads no contest. She pleads seeing when nothing is there. But who are you?”
“I swore, it happened.”
“The 22 year-old’s body found”
“You were there. You saw.”
“Why is this different?”
“My body.”
“Listen.”
“She’s lying. She’s lying. Exaggerated. Where’s the evidence?”
“Can I trust my memory?”
“What is my memory?”
“IS what they heard what’s right?”
“FEEL.”
“What’s right?”
“FEEL.”
“But I can’t remember.”
“Feel.”
“I think I made you up inside my head.”
“What does it mean? Matter. Mean. Matter.”
“I think I made you up inside my head.”
“Inside my head.”
“Questions. Is it less real?”
“The defendant pleads not guilty for rape.”
“I can feel it.”
“My circumstance.”
“Evidence was circumstantial at most.”
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A text-based reflection for an audio artwork
As a self-proclaimed bibliophile, the concept of creating an essay, a product without the support of the written word was at first intimidating. Having drafted an audio essay a year ago this fall, I wondered what another audio piece could contribute to storytelling. And ultimately, I can say I vastly underestimated the impact — both emotional and intellectual — of sound as a mode of communication.
Rather than portray a personal story or experience through the project, I instead elected to represent a theme, a issue that continues to loom overhead in college campuses: victim blaming and fragmented memory. From the beginning, I understood that witness testimony, memory is imperfect by nature. As new experiences displace antiquated details, our perspective shifts in tandem with forces beyond our control.
But given the high profile rape case at St. Paul's School and its prominence in the media, it came to mind that memory could be connected with Sylvia Plath's poem "Mad Girl's Love Song" to create something larger. In creating the piece, I chose to first include my own, rather emotion-less narration of the text — adding brief clips to enhance the audio atmosphere of the location or topic. But as the poem continued in its song format, cleverly written by 10 String Symphony, I interjected. My voice no longer served the role of impartial narrator, but rather, that of commentator, editorializer, individual. As the individual's confusion is advanced, so too is the confusion linked to an apparent court case regarding rape.
In this piece, I hope not to represent what I believe or imagine to be the experience of a survivor of sexual violence. Rather, I aim to bring to light the danger of fragmented memories, everyday uncertainties, and the extreme moments of ambiguity that can shape one's perspective.
Below, I've included the first draft of the audio essay. While I am still very pleased with its ability to evoke emotion from the audience, I identified it as being technically a bit rougher in certain areas — particularly those that involve volume. In order to change this, I smoothed audio transitions and amplified the narration to add more consistency to the piece.
Original version of Mad Girl's Love Song audio artwork.
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