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Femme Disturbance - Live/d Theory

Micha Cárdenas, Author

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the sound of prometrium


missed
my pill
maybe
i'll stop.
the 
world
feels
closer
smaller
closed 
in.
on
the bus
bigot
in a
wheelchair
yelling
at me
that i'm
sick
why can't
i just
be
how god
made me
am i dumb too?
too sick and dumb
to reply, he says
instead of angry
or scared, i mostly
feel sad
move to the back of the bus
he gets off and stands up
out of his chair.
i want to cry
just riding this day out
and the next and the next as i adjust
to the world without progesterone
in its pill form, prometrium 100mg
lots of girls don't take it, my doctor tells me
it's complicated, because it replaces testosterone
but it also has some testosterone of its own,
its own tincture of desire, a desire that feels different. 
now a few weeks later, i feel adjusted, clearer, direct
just slightly more masculine, and the desired goal
is happening, more frequent erections. 
my doctor said, there's no magic bullet, for being super femme and having super erectile function,
I just want to have the fullest life I can, without surgical interventions, and reduce my dependence on corporations. 

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