There are many opinions about dating in the capoeira community ranging from, a very casual do what you want approach to don't do it within your school but dating people from others schools is great to don't do it at all, you are here to train and that's it. Certainly it is a complex issue with different challenges when it is student dating student, teacher dating teacher or teacher dating student. For the purposes of this, I will focus on the power dynamic of teacher/student dating, particularly of those who are known to date multiple students at their schools.

I have heard the arguments that it is their personal business if a teacher has an affair with a student. I have heard it said the student shouldn't go there expecting to date the teacher, and it is their own fault if they do. I have heard that the student are entirely responsible for their actions and bears equal blame, that they are two consenting adults, and it is their personal problem, regardless of the power dynamic. Yes, people are responsible for their actions. Yes they need to make their own choices, but there is a power dynamic at play. Often the teacher is older and male and is a position of power and influence in the community and the student is younger and female and usually new to the community. To the student, it can be flattering that this teacher is interested in her and her "capoeira development" or "she has a good game." This is very typical grooming behavior that can lead to sexual harassment and even sexual assault or dating a teacher who has a habit of moving women through his school as his girlfriends or his mistresses. When the affair is done, the student often leaves the school, and the teacher will be on to their next victim/girlfriend. At the core of this is a underlying belief that women aren't as valuable as students. That they are not there simply to train as the male students are.

If the students know the teacher habit of using young students in this way, now we have a silencing at play as well as power dynamics. I have seen this time and again where the newest students are the ones targeted by certain teachers. When this happens, we as women are told that it is our fault because we wore a tight shirt or we talked to a teacher outside a workshop or we are always in class and too interested in and committed to capoeira, and we must've done something to bring this on. Why are women who date teachers called "berimbau bunnies" while the men who cycle through these women remain respected in the community? Why is it that an eager female student who is passionate and wants to learn and is excited and talks to her teacher about capoeira is often the one targeted? Why are they then being blamed for being targeted?

I don't want to collapse dating and sexual harassment, nor do I want to say that every relationship is the same or that teacher/student dating is necessarily more about power that about genuine caring and love. Just that to deny that it exists in the community is reckless and inaccurate. I do believe that people can have successful relationships in the capoeira community when it is a mutually respectful partnership. Since it is a tight community, I think it is wise that the same cautions be used to enter such a relationship as are used when dating in the workplace (especially if it is between students) or any other responsible teacher/student relationship. Sadly, I don't often see this level of respect. I have seen several schools that act as a dating mill for the teacher.

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