Being a Woman Joker in a Male Dominated Environment
An issue that I am wrestling with, and have trouble framing because there is a voice in my head that judges me for bringing it up at all is, what happens when the joker finds herself experiencing oppression from her community partners? I recognize the many, many layers of privilege I have, but one way that I am certainly battling oppression is being a woman in a man's world. This came up in so many ways throughout the partnership and at a certain point, I wanted to quit, not work with community at all and just be an artist because I was so fed up the sexist remarks, the antagonism, lack of trust, and being told that my problem is I'm too sensitive and why would you have a woman be a leader when you could have a man and the best part about being at USC is all pretty women to look at. I felt that as an individual I was valued, but as a woman not always or that maybe my greatest asset is that I'm pretty.
From a process report, week March 25-31:
"I am still spoken to in a way that I feel is very disrespectful sometimes, but I don’t think it is meant that way. However, there was a point where Yusef was saying that in the Quran it says women can’t be leaders because they are too emotional once a month, so why would you have a woman leader when you could have a man. I told him that I found that extremely offensive and sexist and it is untrue. But, if he really believes that, I can see why he challenges me so much."
Also that week, Yusef was telling me to hit him because he could see I was frustrated.
"Friday was just JC and Usef and it got bad enough that I actually walked out of the room because Yusef was telling me to slap him. If I’m upset I should just walk over there and slap him. After a long conversation with multiple interruptions every time I tried to answer a question, and being told repeatedly that he didn’t see how anything that we are doing is relevant to working with youth.... After stepping out for about 5 minutes, I went back in. We found some common ground and finished our time with games and finishing up the body maps, which Yusef thinks are pointless. I told him he doesn’t have to participate in any part of the work he doesn’t want to....
My question for the week is how and why am I doing work to end oppression and in the meantime I’m being spoken to in a way that I find incredibly hostile and at times verbally abusive? What am I supposed to do about that? I am not comfortable being in that situation. The first thing we will do next week is to reestablish community agreements. I think we will review them before we begin every time, and if that doesn’t work, in order to protect myself I need to be able to walk away."
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